The French government has announced, as part of its continuing protests at the decision of Australia, USA and UK to set up a Pacific military alliance and not buy any ships or submarines from France, that the people of France will jump up and down in anger for one minute next Tuesday. French mothers have also been invited to throw their childen's toys out of their prams.
This far-reaching decision comes at the end of a tense week, which saw Paris recall its ambassadors from Australia and America, and threaten to withdraw its ambassador from UK also, but not do it. French newspapers have been unanimous in their condemnation of the three countries, after it was announced that they would set up a new military alliance called Aukus, which stands for Australia, UK and US.
Nobody is certain as to why the French are so annoyed. Some believe that the French felt they should have been invited to join the pact. After all, France has saved the world from Germany practically single-handed in two World Wars. Others suspect that Paris is a bit miffed that a lucrative defence contract to build submarines for Australia has been cancelled. However, it has been pointed out that the contract has taken twice as long as bargained for, costs have almost doubled, France still hasn’t delivered a single submarine, and the submarine designs are now out of date.
The French government has been quick to remind everyone in France that the Jump Up and Down in Anger Day will be next Tuesday at 4pm French time. The last time they held a Jump Up and Down in Anger Day, they forgot to post the date and time, as a result of which Frenchmen and women started Jumping Up and Down in Anger on different days, causing great confusion. However, one seasoned veteran of thirty riots and trade union strikes in ten years said "C'était comme n'importe quel autre jour" (“It was just like any other day”).