RACIST RIVER, Louisiana – (Satire News) – The governor of Texas was in the little town of Racist River, Louisiana, where he was speaking before a gathering of the white, racist, extremist group known as The Proud Boys.
The rally took place in a WalMart parking lot and reporters estimated that the crowd numbered somewhere between 17 and 21 individuals, who were mostly dressed in Nazi attire and averaged 12.5 tattoos each.
One PBer yelled out that he wants for Abbott to run for president in 2024.
Greg the Douchebag, as millions of the good and decent people of the Lone Star state call him, has become the most hated person in the entire country, even surpassing Donald Trump, Tucker Carlson, and Jim “The Naked Wrestler” Jordan.
Abbott reportedly has more nicknames than Mitch "The Moscow Bitch" McConnell, including shithead, egg plant face, asshole, swamp creature, and old little pee-pee.
In a Related Story. Abbott is denying that he purposely ran over a little, old, blue-haired, 91-year-old lady with his wheelchair.