HOLLYWOOD, Florida – (Sports Satire) – There is an old expression that says that one stayed a little bit too long at the fuckin’ rodeo.
And that is exactly what 59-year-old Evander Jemima Holyfield did. The dummy got greedy and he got his greedy old wrinkled ass handed to him on a silver platter by Vitor Belfort, who at 44, is no spring chicken either.
Boxing aficionados all agreed that the fight was not a fight, but merely two has-beens doing the squared circle Hokey Pokey and getting paid lots of money from a lot of gullible fight fans.
Holyfied is lucky that he still has the ability to count from 1 to 3 without missing a number.
He should thank his lucky stars that he still has both of his arms, both of his feet, his face, and most of his pecker (penis).
Even England’s Queen Elizabeth, who watched the fight on Pay-For View, turned to her BFF Piers Morgan and remarked, “Morgy, what da bloody, blooming, blithering bull shit was that???"
Holyfield who was beaten about as bad as a gazelle among a pack of hungry wolves told Sports Bet Gazette reporter Zorro La Bamba that the ref had no business stopping the fight so damn soon
La Bamba, who tells it like it is, replied that if the ref had not stopped the fight when he did Vitor would have turned him into a human pile of motherfuckin’ mulch about as fast as it take a flea to take a shit.