The Vatican in Rome have just announced details of a new Space Programme, intended to take the highest ranking clergy into space in reusable vehicles.
It will be funded using the Vatican’s vast gold reserves although it is understood that no rocket scientists will be used in the project, to ensure Catholic followers aren’t confused by thinking science is in any way accurate or a good thing.
Instead, a team of Archbishops have been tasked with searching historical texts, including the Old Testament, for clues on how the journeys might become a reality.
A source close to the research team of Bishops involved in the planning stages told us, “We’ve known for a while that God created the World, Stars and our human race, but now we’re going to be in a position to look at the Earth as God does. We might even see him up there as we’ll be much closer to where he lives.”
When challenged about the lack of technological research taking place in the new Space Programme, the clergyman responded that, with faith, the Catholic Church will find a way, he stated, “Overcoming challenges like this is not new to us, Moses was able to part an entire sea just by holding his hands up, so I’m sure we can get up there no problem.”
When asked what the reusable vehicles would be like he simply said, “Like a boat, I think, but not as big as an Ark. That would be crazy.”