Unable to print enough money to fund spending, DC to go bankrupt this coming Tuesday night at midnight.
Establishment Washington OUTRAGED to discover being liberal doesn't mean you never have to pay your bills.
Biden blames Trump. "If former president Washington had never chopped down that cherry tree we wouldn't be in this position, but Trump was too distracted sending out mean tweets to do the right thing!"
Speaking from bedside at the Potomac Hills Old Age Home, memory care unit, Biden reminds voters that he is still in complete charge and that the funding crisis will be solved thru stronger COVID regulations imposed on working Americans.
Mitt Romney Complains: "There is nothing in the current budget that would point to such a draconian outcome as shutting down the entire federal government.
"Clearly we need a Bipartisan senate committee created to focus on this crisis." Former presidential candidate reminds voters that he was for reasonable spending before he was for anything that sounded good.
Al Sharpton releases statement: "Resist We MUCH!!! This is a racist initiative designed to disenfranchise black people, by forcing them to work for their wages."
The Civil Rights activist promises to focus on solutions from his mansions in NY, Saint Louis, Los Angeles, Miami, and the Italian Riviera.
Ignoring the fact that the ENTIRE federal branch will be out of business come WEDS morning, Sharpton promises: "We must protest this terrible blow against people of color. We PROMISED blacks that whitey would support them forever, and I will take this fight all the way to the US Supreme Court!"
Nancy Pelosi speaking from her kitchen, alongside her her brand new, $45,000 refrigerator, complete with thousands of dollars worth of Ben and Jerry's ice cream, said, "We will not accept the demise of the Federal Government due to something as little as a total revenue collapse. Congress will immediately begin work on a bail-out bill that will give TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS to every person - citizen, or not - in the USA, provided they are properly vaccinated, registered democrat, allow us to cast their votes for them into perpetuity, and post on their facebook page that Black Lives Matter, and all 32 genders are created equal."
Former President Donald Trump, speaking from his home in Mar-a-largo, Florida, said, "America was a great idea, begun by really, really great people. Unfortunately, the current crop of congressmen and senators are just plain dumb, and couldn't be trusted to row a plastic children's boat across a kiddie pool, much less manage a multi-trillion dollar budget. My heart breaks for working Americans who will suffer in the coming days as fifty separate states attempt to organize and survive what will be a very bad time in our history."
Chuck Schumer, self-declared senator for life, immediately condemned Trump's statement as, "riddled with racism, fascism, homophobia, islamaphobia, sexism, and just plain mean-ism."the senator then demanded that congress begin impeachment proceedings against the former president immediately.
Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, speaking about the untimely hospitalization of current chief justice John Roberts, for uncontrolled cowardice, said, "Economists, as well as conservative voices in government and industry have warned of the coming economic collapse of the Federal Government. Now that it is here, maybe the left will start to pay attention to the realities of income as it relates to debt."
Congressman Adam Shiff responded to the Justice by saying: "It is utterly racist to connect the ability to pay to the obligations of debt. Clarence Thomas is clearly just another uncle tom, racist, enemy of the state, and should not be quoted, heard, or allowed to participate in public life."