WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The United States Attorney General Merrick Garland, has just informed the news media that the US government has filed an $87.3 million lawsuit against Donald Jonathan Trump, the most evil, hateful, racist individual to ever walk the face of the earth; including Adolf Hitler, Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden, and Ann Coulter.
The US attorney general says that he has extreme confidence that the United States treasury will recover every cent of the $87.3 million (with interest).
The reason why the lawsuit was filed was due to the fact that when he was in office, the twice-impeached, predator, took $19 million from the Viet Nam Veterans Organization and transferred it over to son Barron Trump's college fund.
When Trump heard about the lawsuit, he stated that he has never heard of Merrick Garland, Hitler, or Osama Bin Laden.
He noted somewhat tongue-in-cheek that he does recall grabbing Ann Coulter’s sardine (aka beaver) – (aka vagina).
In News Coming Out of Arizona. A man was caught coming out of a plant nursery with a one-foot Saguaro cactus stuffed in his underwear. Doctor’s released a statement that Biffaroy, “Bubba” Callentitler, 29, ended up with 301 little pricks in and around his pubic region.