EL PASO, Texas – (Satire News) – Alpha Beta’s Mimosa Sabrosa covered the 32nd Annual Taco Bell Jalapeno-Eating Contest, which was held at El Paso's Giggling Guacamole Restaurant.
The yearly event draws participants from as far away as Delaware, Denmark, and Detroit.
This year’s winner, in the male category, was Skipper Bixenbooty, 68, of Pocatello, Idaho, who captured the event by eating 93 standard-sized jalapenos.
Each contestant is allowed three beers or three sodas and is not allowed to spit. Anyone caught spitting will immediately be disqualified and will have to pay a $75 fine.
Bixenbooty beat out 27 other contestants including last year’s winner, Ching Chow Ping, 13, of Shanghai, China.
Immediately after winning the championship, Bixenbooty was rushed to a near-by 24-hour emergency clinic, where doctor’s had to perform an emergency rectalmistacus, in order to save Bixenbooty’s sphincter muscle, which was pretty much, almost burned completely off.
Mrs. Bixenbooty said that her husband’s $900 winnings will go toward the emergency clinic bill.