Cristiano Ronaldo retires from publicity

Funny story written by Jim Skinz

Thursday, 2 September 2021

image for Cristiano Ronaldo retires from publicity
Ronaldo: one of life's great ballers

Cristiano Ronaldo has announced his retirement from self-publicity after breaking the international goal-scoring record.

The 36-year-old Portugal and Manchester United star said he would take a step back from being in the limelight for 23 hours and 59 minutes each day to concentrate on other issues.

"It's all been a bit heavy-going," the forward told reporters after Wednesday's World Cup qualifier against Ireland, which Portugal won 2-1.

"I'm so pleased with my achievements, but there are other pressing matters."

Asked what these might be, he declined to comment - and went off to play a game of keepy uppie with some of the reporters.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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