There were 212 spoof news stories published in August 2021. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
The NFL's First Transgender Cheerleader Comes Out
TAMPA BAY, Florida – (Sports Satire) – Sporting Chance Magazine has confirmed that a Tampa Bay Buccaneers cheerleader is the NFLs first transgender rah-rah girl. Twenty-four-year-old Gayle Wanderlust, of Tallahassee, who has been cheering for the…
Read full storyA Montreal College Cheerleader Injures Her Camel Toe During a Very Difficult Cheerleading Maneuver
MONTREAL – (Sports Satire) – The local newspapers are reporting that the head cheerleader for the Montreal Jr. College Beavers hurt her pubic region when a very difficult cheerleading maneuver went horribly wrong. Joanie F. Mackinberger, 19, was t…
Read full storyTexas Governor Greg Abbott Named The Biggest Asshole Governor of All-Time
DIME BOX, Texas – (Satire News) – People who know Greg Abbott personally say off-the-record, that he is the meanest, cruelest, most heartless, despicable person since Adolf Hitler; actually according to many political pundits, G.A. is a close second…
Read full storyDairy Queen Closes It’s 3 Kabul Restaurants Due To Constant Daily Gunfire
KABUL, Afghanistan – (Business Satire) – Executives with the Dairy Queen franchise have stated that they are going to have to close their 3 DQ’s in the Afghanistan capital of Kabul. The Sandstone News Agency reported that half of the Mickey D's em…
Read full storyWeirdo International Space Station Gets Special Delivery From Enabler SpaceX
SpaceX has sent up another supply ship to the International Space Station, (because NASA is too busy doing their nails), but an increasingly bizarre list of supply items is raising eyebrows. The Falcon rocket, launched on August 29 from Elon Musk'…
Read full storyChic-fil-A Says That Due To The Employee Shortage They May Be Forced To Hire Inmates Who Are On Parole
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – BuzzFuzz reports that one of the biggest fast food corporations is having trouble hiring (and keeping) employees. Agatha Agave, a spokeswoman for the fast food giant, told Sonora Cahoots, with BuzzFuzz that young people j…
Read full storyThe Reason That The Taliban Closed Three McDonald’s Restaurants
KABUL – (Business Satire) – Afghanistan’s Sandstone News Agency reports that Taliban spokesperson Sabeen Siri Yasim has informed the world-wide news media that the new regime has shut down three Mickey D’s. When asked why, Sabeen Siri Yasim simply…
Read full storyThe Three Little Pigs and The Gay Wolf
The best version: Once upon a time there was a mother pig who had three little pigs named Corn, Biscuit and Doughnut. Her husband was a vagrant who would listen to pop music all day and who failed school. One day she said to them, "It's time…
Read full storyNASCAR’S 1st Transgender Driver Wins Her First Race
TOLEDO, Ohio – (Sports Satire) – The NASCAR organization is proud to announce that the Toledo 300 Invitational was won by the organization’s very first transgender driver. Twenty-eight-year-old Catalina Puffinpick captured the coveted race from a…
Read full storyRussia’s Most Advanced Stealth Bomber Flies Across The United Kingdom Totally Undetected
LONDON – (Satire News) – England’s Tickety Boo News is reporting lots of red faces at 10 Downing Street, Buckingham Palace, and Wembley Stadium. TBN reporter Brompton Boxgrove, stated that the Royal Air Force has admitted that a Russian Stealth Bo…
Read full storyGov. Greg Abbott of Texas Has Just Used a Hell of a Lot of State Taxpayers Money To Pay For His Brand New Customized $487,000 Wheel Chair
AUSTIN – (Satire News) – The governor of Texas, who was recently named “The Biggest Asshole Governor of All-Time” by the Chicago Daily Wind newspaper, has just had the unmitigated gall to use nearly half a million dollars of state taxpayers money to…
Read full storyVice-President Kamala Harris Has Just Tagged Marjorie Taylor Greene With a Brand New Nickname That Fits Her Like a Latex Glove
SAUSALITO, California – (Satire News) – The vice-president was in Sausalito at a high school dedication. The citizens of the town of Sausalito, decided to rename Ronald Reagan High School to Kamala Harris High School. Needless to say VP Harris…
Read full storyHere’s A Nightmare: Joe Biden Impeached
The situation in Afghanistan is a mess. Joe Biden spoke the truth about getting U.S. troops out of a twenty-year war on the other side of the world. But, unfortunately there appeared to be no planning for the U.S. exit. Biden's dog Major might have b…
Read full storyPutin Reveals That He Has Always Seen Trump as Nothing But a Submissive Pussy
MOSCOW – (Satire News) – Moscow’s Red Press has just confirmed that Russian President Vladimir Putin has always looked upon Donald Trump as nothing more than a pathetic, little submissive pussy, who has the biggest inferiority complex of anyone on ea…
Read full storyThe Newest McDonalds in Dallas Has Opened Up a Drive-Thru Window Lane Just For People on Horseback
DALLAS – (Satire News) – According to recent statistics on horses in Texas, one out of every six adults in the Dallas Metroplex area owns a horse. And some families are known as two-horse families. In keeping with that theme, the executives at McD…
Read full storyKanye West Announces That He Is Changing His Name
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – Yippee Ki Yay Magazine reports that Kanye West, who embarrassed himself when he took the microphone away from Taylor Swift, at the 2009 VMA Awards Show, has fallen into the deep depths of depressed depression. After bei…
Read full storyAl-Qaeda and Hezbollah Are Planning on Invading Afghanistan and Driving the Taliban Out!
KABUL, Afghanistan – (World News) – The Middle East news agency known as Sandstone News has just reported that two very popular terrorists groups have plans to invade Afghanistan and kick the Taliban out. Al-Qaeda leader Zabu Isbad Fufu, and Hezbo…
Read full storyA Canadian Contortionist Somehow Ends Up With His Tonsils Up His Ass
TORONTO, Canada – (Satire News) – The Detroit Mirror newspaper is reporting that one of the world’s greatest contortionist has met with a rather unusual injury. Georgio The Great, considered even better than the Great Gilda, who could literally en…
Read full storyDick’s Sporting Goods Has Decided To Change It’s Sexually-Themed Name
OIL SPILL, Pennsylvania – (Business Satire) – iRumors is reporting that executives with Dick’s Sporting Goods have decided, that after 73 years, they are going to change the name of the national sporting goods retail company. Company spokeswoman S…
Read full storyDodgers and Astros Fans Fight and Fight and Fight in The Stands
LOS ANGELES – (Sports Satire) – Needless to say there is no love-lost between Los Angeles Dodgers fans and Houston Astros Fans. The sports animosity goes back to 2017, when the Astros beat the Dodgers to capture the World Series Championship. A…
Read full storyThe Dallas Cowboys Lose to The Pittsburgh Steelers 16-3, But Their Sexy Cowboys Cheerleaders Capture the Hearts and Crotches of The American Males
CANTON, Ohio – (Sports Satire) – Jerry Jones told Cinderella St. Lamb with the Balls News Agency that he is getting tired-as-hell of seeing his team lose. He said that he is so stressed out that he is even having a problem getting it up in the bed…
Read full storyMatt Gaetz Ties The Knot – Or Rather Gets Married (To a Woman)
CATALINA ISLAND, California – (Satire News) – Matt Gaetz, 39, who has sex-trafficking issues up the yazoo, as they say in Yazoo City, Mississippi, has married 26-year-old Ginger Luckey. He promised the local news media that his new, blushing bride…
Read full storySecret Documents Reveal That Trump Gave Al-Qaeda $19 Million in US Taxpayers Money
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – According to The Chicago Daily Wind, secret documents have just been found in a White House storage room that show that Donald Trump gave Al-Qaeda $19 million. The report clearly showed that the amount was actual…
Read full storyAn Egg Roll Food Truck in San Francisco’s Chinatown Makes $1 Million Per Day
SAN FRANCISCO – (Satire News) – San Francisco Mayor London Breed, has told Food Fad Magazine that the Rockin’ & Rollin’ Egg Roll Food Truck is doing fantastic sales. She pointed out that she spoke to Ling Dinga Ling, the owner, who told her th…
Read full storyLPGA’s Sensational Sexy Sexpot Paige Spiranac Gets Invited To The White House After Winning The Indianapolis Invitational
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Sports Satire) – White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki has informed the White House Press Corps that President Biden and First Lady Dr. Jill Biden have invited the stunningly sexy pro lady golfer Paige Spiranac to the White House…
Read full storyA Hooters Girl With a Huge Mouth Is Noted For Giving The Best You-Know-Whats In Chattanooga
CHATTANOOGA, Tennessee – (Satire News) – An employee of the national Hooters chain is noted for two things being able to speak six languages fluently, and for having the biggest, most amazing mouth on both sides of the Mississippi River. Daniella…
Read full storySwitzerland’s Moonshot Rocket Lifts Off The Launch Pad and Quickly Crashes Into The Alps
WOODEN CLOG, Switzerland – (Sci-Tech Satire) – Swiss news agencies are reporting that Switzerland’s attempt to land a space ship on the moon has sizzled big time. National authorities with the Swiss Moon Federation (SMF) commented that they are em…
Read full storyDrought-Stricken, Fire-Laden California is Buying Water From Chicago
SACRAMENTO, California – (Satire News) – The state of California, suffering from a horrendous drought has just informed the news media that they have worked out a deal to purchase water from Chicago. The Windy City gets its water from Lake Michiga…
Read full storyJack-in-the-Box Informs The Female Federation of America That They Are Not Going To Change Their Corporate Name
JOLIET, Illinois – (Satire News) – A spokesperson for the Jack-in-the-Box fast food franchise says that they don’t give a damn what the Female Federation of America says, they are not changing their name. BuzzFuzz reports that Aubra "Giggles" Capp…
Read full storyChina is Reporting a Huge Decline in The Trumpapalooza Flu
HONG KONG – (Satire News) – Several Chinese news agencies are reporting that the leader of the Peoples Republic of China, Xi Jinping, is happy to report a downward spiral in cases of the Trumpapalooza Flu Virus (as he has ordered it be called). H…
Read full storyAfter 87,000 Years The Once Mighty Colorado River Is Drying Up
PHOENIX, Arizona – (Satire News) – The Chicago Daily Wind newspaper has just reported that the mighty Colorado River has turned into a little trickling creek. They place the blame solely on Global Warming, which former president Don the Con swore…
Read full storyCanadian Prime Minister Calls For An Election For His Erection
Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau (who also goes by the name 'Justine' on Saturday nights), has done what most logical, intelligent, and compassionate world leaders would do, and has called for a Federal election during a global pandemic. Af…
Read full storyA Meteorite Crashes Into An Alabama Cotton Field Destroying Over 700,000 Cotton Balls
DIXIELAND, Alabama – (Satire News) – Radio station KDIX 101, reported that a 2.7 ton meteorite has crashed into an Alabama cotton field causing extensive damage. The meteorite, believed to have originated in Uranus, landed smack-dab in the middle…
Read full storyThe Biggest Vagina in Europe Belongs To a Petite Woman Who Stands 5-foot-2, and Weighs 103 Pounds
PARIS, France – (Satire News) – One of Europe’s leading men’s magazine’s Vagin Illustrated has just done a story on a woman who works at Seins Restaurant, which is the French equivalent of America’s Hooters Restaurant. The woman named Lea Mia Poup…
Read full storyThe United States House of Representatives Votes to Prohibit Travel to and From Florida
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Ipso Facto News reports that due to the huge rise in Delta Dawn Virus cases in the Plywood State, the House of Representatives has voted 234 to 201 to restrict travel to and from the state of Florida. Governor Ro…
Read full storyDonald Trump’s Kool-Aid Company Files For Bankruptcy
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The Ipso Facto News Agency has just confirmed that the former “Golfer-in-Chief’s” Kool-Aid company has indeed filed for bankruptcy. Oslo D. Troyjoy, a spokesperson for Bankruptcies of America, said that the Donald T…
Read full storyThe California Wild Fires Have Gotten So Hot That Rocks and Boulders Are Actually Catching Fire
CHICO, California – (Satire News) – Ipso Facto News reports that California’s “Hell Fires,” have totally gotten out-of-control. Park ranger Warren F. Fishfiddy, told IPN’s Fuchsia Garfunkel, that the temperature of the I Wish I Was In Dixie fire,…
Read full storyThe Taliban Has Confiscated 3,000 Camels and They Have Put Them All on Craig’s List
KABUL, Afghanistan – (Business Satire) – Reports out of the Taliban-Controlled Afghanistan republic say that Taliban General Abdali Tibia Nim-Nim has ordered that all Afghani camels be rounded up. His troops, which he has christened the Nim-Nimers…
Read full storyDonald Trump Takes a Horrible Fall at a Golf Course and Badly Injures His Tongue
KISSIMMEE, Florida – (Satire News) – The Miami Globe-Gazette is reporting that Donald Trump was on the 13th hole at The General Robert E. Lee Golf Course in Kissimmee, Florida, when he, for no apparent reason, stumbled and landed on his face. Memb…
Read full storyMount St. Peaches Erupts In Georgia Causing Wide-Spread Damage to The State’s Peach Crop
COTTON BALLS, Georgia – (Satire News) – One of the largest and oldest volcanoes in the south has just erupted spewing molten lave as high as 2,873 feet. Meteorologists had predicted to the day, when the 72,903-year-old volcano would erupt. The…
Read full storyKim Jong-un Wants In-N-Out Burger Restaurants in North Korea
PYONGYANG, North Korea – (Satire News) – North Korea’s Rice Paddy News Agency has stated that North Korean leader Kim Jong-un has requested that the In-N-Out burger chain build several of their restaurants in North Korea. Kim Jong-un recently stat…
Read full storyA Man In Hot Springs, Arkansas, Holds Up a McDonald’s Drive-Thru Window
HOT SPRINGS, Arkansas – (Satire News) – The Hot Springs Police Department reports that a tall, slender individual, who looked a lot like Matt Gaetz, but not anywhere near as fat, or as ridiculously overweight, drove up to a McDonalds drive-thru and h…
Read full storyScientists Are Puzzled As To Why Buffaloes Are Mating With Squirrels
YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK, Wyoming – (Satire News) – Park rangers at Yellowstone are puzzled, confused, and confounded as to why adult male bison are starting to mate with adult female squirrels. The rangers say that they have been getting lots of…
Read full storyThe Cleveland Guardians (Indians) May Move To Green Bay
CLEVELAND – (Sports Satire) – Word coming out of the city on Lake Erie, is that many of the Cleveland baseball fans are still furious at the team’s new name. Research surveys have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the name Guardians, sounds…
Read full storyA United States Battleship Accidentally Sinks a Cambodian Fishing Boat
THE GULF OF THAILAND – (Satire News) – The USS Jimmy Carter, is sad to report that they have sunk a Cambodian fishing boat that carelessly crossed in front of them. Captain Keith P. Gunnmelo stated that his chief radarman mistook the fishing boat…
Read full storyA Harlem Pole Dancer Wins The Giant Cinnamon Roll Eating Contest
HARLEM – (Satire News) – Ever since she was a little girl growing up in Harlem, Quanzilla Yolanda Windmuffin, 26, has been able to eat lots of large things with very little effort. She explains it by saying that she has a very tiny uvula which mak…
Read full storyLast Seen, Prince Harry Juggling Balls
Yes, it has come to that: The very ridiculous. Prince Harry is seen through a window outdoors juggling his balls while his wife sits at a table, used as a desk, directing a not at all funny and bizarre video. If that video doesn’t point out the su…
Read full storyThe US Chinese-American Federation of Chinese People Demand That The NBA Implement An Asian Player Quota
SAN FRANCISCO – (Sports Satire) - The organization known as The US Chinese-American Federation of Chinese People has issued a strong statement to the National Basketball Association. In a letter to NBA Commissioner Adam Silver, the group states t…
Read full story'Amazion' sell millions of Hijabs in Afghanistan as Taliban run riot!
Afghanistan, a nation filled with rugged mountains, valleys, and just happens to be the largest drug producing country on the planet is unconquerable proclaim the Taliban! Brits attempted to syphon off Afghanistan's major export many years ago but…
Read full storyUS Military Drones Totally Destroy Two Terrorist-Controlled Towns In Iraq
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The FBI and The CIA have confirmed that at least 16 American military drones invaded Iraq and destroyed 9 Iraqi military bases, 4 Iraqi bullet factories, 2 Iraqi Motel 6’s, and an Iraqi camelburger restaurant that w…
Read full storyThe Bermuda Triangle Has Just Swallowed Up a Costa Rican Aircraft Carrier
THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE – (Satire News) – The Miami Globe Gazette has just reported that a Costa Rican aircraft carrier is missing and is believed to have been swallowed up by the infamous Bermuda Triangle. The Globe Gazette stated that the Costa Ric…
Read full storyElmer Smuckmeister Wins Olympic Cow Pie Throwing Gold Medal
BILLINGSGATE POST: Not since Joe Cocolochek won the shot put gold medal in the 1936 Summer Olympics in Berlin, Germany, has anyone from Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, won an Olympic medal. Although overshadowed by Jesse Owens, who won gold medals in t…
Read full storyAfghanistan’s New Taliban Government is Planning on Renaming Kabul Airport
KABUL, Afghanistan – (World Satire) – Taliban leader General Abdali Tibia Nim-Nim has just announced that he has decided to rename Kabul Airport. The general informed new reporters, including America’s the Vox Populi News Agency, that he, and he a…
Read full storyThe Taliban's 82nd Volunteer Division Invades Herzegovina
BANJONOOKI, Herzegovina – Radio Herzegovina has confirmed that members of the Taliban’s 82nd Volunteer Division have invaded Herzegovina. A spokesperson for the country stated that the Herzegovinian army is fighting gallantly, but being outnumbere…
Read full storyHawaii Tells Tourists To Stay The Eff Away!
HONOLULU – (Satire News) – Reports coming out of the Aloha State report that Hawaii’s Secretary of Tourism and Coconut Harvesting has issued a directive stating that tourists from the mainland are not welcome. The secretary who did not want his na…
Read full storyNASA Is Shocked To Learn That The Warranty on The Mars Land Rover Perseverance Has Expired
HOUSTON – (Satire News) – There are dozens and dozens of red-faced space program executives at the NASA Space Center that have overlooked something that could end up costing the American taxpayers lots and lots of money. Boom Boom News reporter H…
Read full storyMcDonalds Following Wendy’s Lead Will Open 900 “Ghost Kitchens”
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – Like Bob Dylan sang many decades ago, ‘the times they are a-changing.’ And the fast food industry can certainly attest to that as McDonalds has just followed Wendy’s lead, and they have announced that they will be opening…
Read full storyManchester United Fined For Using Illegal Steroid Air in Their Soccer Balls
MANCHESTER, England – (Sports Satire) – England’s Tickety Boo News has uncovered a scandal that involves one of the best sports teams in the world of soccer, or football as they call it in the United Kingdom. TBN reporter Neville Twickenbuck, said…
Read full storyPolitical Correctness Gone Amuck: Dallas Cowboys Must Change Name
Following the Cleveland Indians and the Washington Redskins, the Dallas team in the National Football League has announced that when the season begins the team will no longer carry the nickname Cowboys. Until a new nickname is adopted, the team will…
Read full storyA Florida Octogenarian Couple Discover a Volcano
PENSACOLA, Florida – (Satire News) – BuzzFuzz is reporting that a huge volcano has just been discovered east of Pensacola. The volcano has been given the name Mt. St. Citrus. Reports coming out of the Plywood State point out that the Florida Hous…
Read full storyGolden State Warriors Super Star Stephen Curry’s Dad and Mom Have Filed For Divorce
OAKLAND – (Sports Satire) – According to Bedroom Pillow Talk, two of the most famous NBA courtside fans have just filed for the “Big D.” Dell and Sonya Curry, told BPT's Carolina Chipotle, that after 33 years of marriage, the rigors of attending s…
Read full storyUnfit man complaining about Athletes again
Chutney on the Fritz's most famous inhabitant Brian Asshat has been complaining about the efforts of Athletes, as he always does. The mildly obese thrower of shoes gets slightly breathless in his garden but still likes to believe that he could hav…
Read full storyA U.S. C-17 Cargo Plane Loaded With 917 Afghani Refugees Bound For New York City is Diverted To Montreal, Canada
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – Vice-President Harris, in her capacity as the second most-powerful person in the country, has announced that she has diverted an Afghani C-17 cargo plane loaded with close to 1,000 refugees that was headed to the USA t…
Read full storyThe Las Vegas Couple Who Named Their Baby Girl, Vagina, Have Decided to Change Her Name To Keep From Going To Prison
LAS VEGAS – (Satire News) – RumorLand News reports that Wendell and Pandora Tuckweed will not be arrested after all. The couple, who named their baby daughter, Vagina, said that it was really just a joke, but the Nevada State Department of Normalc…
Read full storyMarjorie Taylor Greene Says She Wants Afghanistan To Become The 51st State
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Political pundits are all in complete agreement that Georgia congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene keeps on saying the most fucked-up shit with each brand new day. The dishwater blonde's latest hormonal rant is th…
Read full storyJimmy Carter And Joe Biden Battle For WOAT (Worst Of All Time) President
BILLINGSGATE POST: Just when Jimmy Carter believed he was a mortal lock for the coveted WOAT (Worst Of All Time) American President, Joe Biden raised the stakes by enabling the Afghan airport evacuation debacle in Kabul this week. Jimmy Carter is…
Read full storyThe Texas State High Court Calls For Gov. Greg “The Crazy Prick” Abbott To Be Removed From Office
AUSTIN – (Satire News) – Reports coming out of the heart of Texas state that Governor Greg Abbott, who has gone off-the-deep-end and needs to be removed from office before the ignorant, loose cannon shitass gets a wild hair up his ass and decides to…
Read full storyAustralia Threatens To Shoot Anyone Who Violates Their Pandemic Lockdown
CANBERRA, Australia – (Satire News) – The Australian government has issued a very strict directive that anyone who violates their lockdown risks the possibility of getting shot, and not just in the leg either. A spokesperson for the government sai…
Read full storyThe Pittsburgh Pirates Have Just Signed MLB’s First Female Ballplayer
PITTSBURGH – (Sports Satire) – The Balls News Agency has just confirmed that the Pittsburgh Pirates have just made history by signing the very first female to play in the Major Leagues. Catalina Vascovino, has just been signed to a three-year, $12…
Read full storyBooks We'd All Love to Read
Donald Trump - One Tweet Over the Line (a winners book for pussies who still pretend I lost) Christopher Wray - How I Maintained My Integrity While Others Chose to Follow the Law Leonardo DeCaprio - The Man Who Single Handedly Ended MMGW By Fly…
Read full storyFootball team unrecognizable after Messi departure: Fanatic
After the recent news of the departure of Lionel Messi from FC Barcelona many sports fans are left confused and intrigued about the future of their favorite star and of course team. This news came as a surprise to all our sports analysts that are…
Read full storyEngland Wanker Team wins Gold at Wanker Olympics!
England continue to achieve great success as a bunch of 'Wankers' after successfully leaving the EU as renowned 'Tossers!' They now have won a gold medal at the alternative Olympics held in 'Willy Wanker Land' better known as Vatican City! Several…
Read full storyA White House Source Says Trump Will Be Arrested Very Soon
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – A highly reliable source within the White House, who knows the New York attorney general, says that the word on the streets of Manhattan, is that the worst president in the history of presidents – Donald John Trump,…
Read full storyDonald Trump Says That Lady Golfer Paige Spiranac Is So Darn Sexy, If She Wants To Kneel For The National Anthem – That’s Fine With Him
PALM BEACH, Florida – (Satire News) – The former Divider-in-Chief recently told Laura Ingraham the Fox State TV, that he thinks that LPGA golfer Paige Spirinac is one of the sexiest females that he has ever seen; including Hope Hicks. The Trumptar…
Read full storyThe United Kingdom May Have To Cancel Christmas
LONDON – (Satire News) – England’s Tickety Boo News has commented that the 2021 Christmas season may be cancelled. TBN reporter Neville Twickenbuck learned from a source within Buckingham Palace that Queen Elizabeth is highly upset at the prospect…
Read full storyThe Taliban Has Just Announced That Women In Afghanistan Have Just Lost The Right To Vote
KABUL, Afghanistan – (World Satire) – Now that the Taliban terrorist have taken over the country, their first mandate is that women will no longer be allowed to vote. Taliban spokesperson Sabeen Siri Yasim, remarked that another change will be tha…
Read full storyEvents That Nearly Brought Down The Government
Since democrats are claiming the peaceful January 6th protest was an insurrection, and nearly brought down the government, I think it's time we created a list of other 'watershed' events that also nearly toppled democracy. Please add your own 'lif…
Read full storyA Fledging Cruise Line Turns Things Around When The Ship Becomes An All-Nude Cruise Ship
PENSACOLA, Florida – (Satire News) – The Ship Ahoy Cruise Line Company, out of Pensacola, has found the way to drum up much-needed business in this era of the so called Trumpian Pandemic. The company, which is owned by Pepsi Cola and Peter Pan Pea…
Read full storyCovid-19 Variant Is Turning Into A War Of The Worlds Film
The Covid-19 variant, called Delta, is turning into a War Of The Worlds film. So where is Tom Cruise? He’s supposed to be scaling down a rope, stop four inches above the floor and rescue the world from that killer virus called Delta. And Delta is no…
Read full storyDonald Trump Reveals That His 2024 Presidential Campaign Running Mate Will Be The Gorgeously Hot, Sexy-As-Hell Ivanka Trump
PALM BEACH, Florida - ( Satire New) – Word coming out of the spider-infested Mar-a-Lago mansion is that Donald John Trump is thrilled to announce that his vice-presidential running mate will be none other than his hot, sexy, lusciously delicious daug…
Read full storyBertie Wooster and Jeeves bombard Jaggedone's demented Cerebral Cortex from the Unknown!
Lying in bed, propellers in your head, dreaming naughty dreams instead, then suddenly voices appear from the dead! "Jaggedone, we are back as we said, posh, aristocratic bred, Jeeves, you dastardly rascal tell us the latest scandals circling under th…
Read full storyThe University of Alabama Has Decided To Change The Name of Their Athletic Teams
TUSCALOOSA, Alabama – (Sports Satire) – The Board of Regents of the University of Alabama, after 189 years has decided to change the team’s name. The Sports Bet Gazette notes that effective Thursday, September 30, 2021, the name Crimson Tide will…
Read full storyHome Depot Announces Why They Will No Longer Be Selling Grass Fertilizer
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – A corporate executive with the huge home improvement retailer has just revealed that it will no longer sell grass fertilizer. Miles F. Furshetta, 63, who is the company’s director of Customer Relations and Possible Lawsui…
Read full storyGuess Who Has A Temperature And Is Very Sick?
Someone has a temperature, wearing a mask, getting a vaccination, and self-quarantine at home will not save anyone. Vitamin C won’t do any good. Gluten-free or vegan? Forget it. It’s spreading like wildfire in every continent because it is wildfi…
Read full storyVice-President Harris Will Visit Afghanistan and Meet With The New Taliban Leader
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (U.S. Satire News) – The Chicago Wind newspaper has confirmed that VP Harris will be flying to Kabul, Afghanistan on Air Force One to have a private meeting with the top ranking Taliban leader. The vice-president is scheduled to…
Read full storyA Woman In Dallas Claims She Can Give Herself Multiple Orgasms Simply By Thinking About An Eggplant
DALLAS – (Satire News) – Milly Dellapicker, 28, recently told her gynecologist that she has a unique ability to give herself multiple orgasms simply by thinking about an eggplant. Milly says she's still single, and has been giving herself dozens o…
Read full storyBoss Pleads Allergic Reaction
Pleading against a charge of wrongful dismissal, national distribution centre boss, Niall Nash claimed he suffered an unavoidable allergic reaction to the plaintiff, Mr ‘Stumpy’ Foot. “After the accident he wouldn’t even look at me,” complained Mr F…
Read full storyOne of Al-Qaeda’s Meanest and Most Notorious Leaders Captured By The US Navy Seals
SUKAHATU, Afghanistan – (Satire News) – The Chicago Daily Wind reports that one of the most notorious Al-Qaeda leaders Omar Shaker Fasheen is now is custody. A team of 6 Navy Seals captured Fasheen as he was having kinky sexual relations with his…
Read full storyBeyonce Has Just Bought The Tijuana Tamale Packers of Mexico’s Baja California Football League
BEVERLY HILLS – (Sports News) – It’s a well known fact that Houston native Beyonce (Knowles) has always been a big fan of football. As a little girl she used to cheer on the then Houston Oilers (now the Tennessee Titans) on her parents 19-inch bl…
Read full storyWoman still hasn't finished her Haiku
Dorothy Fotherington Smythe from the Estate in Mithering on the Trent has been working on a Haiku for eight months and is yet to finish it. The ancient Japanese writing form is beloved of pretentious 17-year-olds wanting to impress their teachers,…
Read full storyInternet Biscuit Scam Shock
Outraged Welsh biscuit lover Dai Jestif claims big business is stealing millions through internet biscuit scams. “It was only when the computer started malfunctioning that it occurred to me. You see, every time you go to a site it asks you to acc…
Read full storyMarjorie Taylor Greene Sux The Big One!
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Nancy Pelosi has come up with one of the best descriptions for the skank of all skanks Marjorie Taylor Greene. Pelosi, who hates MTG even more than Eric Trump hates having an extremely low IQ (24), referred to the ‘dishwater blo…
Read full storyNew York City Prostitutes Are Now Demanding Vax Proof From Their Johns
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) – With the return of the Trumpapalooza Virus the Big Apple’s horde of streetwalkers (i.e. whores) have now announced that they will require all “Johns” (customers) to show their Covid card. Brooklyn’s infamous Maggie…
Read full storyPussy Riot Wants The Fu*king Impostor Pussy Riot To Stop Using Their Band Name
NEW YORK CITY – (Music Satire) – Russia’s heavy metal all-girl trio has just been voted the Best All-Girl Band in Portugal. The band’s lead guitar player and lead singer, Muffin told Tittle Tattle Tonight’s Pico de Gallo that they are very upset t…
Read full storyThe US Warns Canada To Control Their Wandering Moose or Else
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The US Department of Animal Husbandry has issued a stern warning to our neighbor to the north regarding their wandering moose. Stating that the Canadian moose cross over into the US and they then proceed to eat t…
Read full storyBuffalo Bills Wide Reciever Cole Beasley Fined $900,000 By The NFL For Refusing To Wear a Mask
BUFFALO, New York – (Sports Satire) – According to the Sports Bet Gazette, Bills receiver, Cole Beasley is emphatic that no one, not the NFL commissioner, not the vice-president of the United States, and not even the “Big Black Mouth of The South,” C…
Read full storyThe Tijuana Tamale Packers Football Team, Which Is Owned By Beyonce, Win Their Season Opener
TIJUANA, Mexico – (Sports Satire) – Beyonce Knowles, known as Queen B, by her gazillions of devoted fans, is extremely thrilled that her team the Tijuana Tamale Packers won their season opener, by clobbering the visiting Mexicali Maracas by a score o…
Read full storyCDC: "Covid Vax May Cure Baldness And Add Inches 'Elsewhere'"
The Center For Disease Control is said to be preparing a national campaign that suggests taking any available Covid-19 vaccine could help cure male pattern baldness and add length to the male organ. The hope is that just the possibility that could ha…
Read full storyGerman OAP puts his Y-fronts on back to front and attempts to pee out of his slit!
As one approaches the ripe old age of 85, simple things in life tend to become more complicated! A German OAP residing in Ravensburg, whose wife observed him doing the usual OAP things like: Putting his slippers in the fridge, not flushing the bog, f…
Read full storyPresident Biden is Considering Invading Afghanistan and Totally Destroying The Taliban Terrorist Troops
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki has stated that the United States is more than likely going to invade the Taliban-held nation of Afghanistan. She said that both President Biden and Vice-President Harris are…
Read full storySenator Rand Paul is The Granddaddy of Misinformation and Unadulterated Bullshit!
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Political pundits agree that more bullshit comes out of Rand “The Weasel” Paul’s mouth than anyone else in the entire country; except maybe for Trump, McConnell, Gaetz, Jordan, Graham, Hannity, Carlson, Gutfeld, and…
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