NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The Ipso Facto News Agency has just confirmed that the former “Golfer-in-Chief’s” Kool-Aid company has indeed filed for bankruptcy.
Oslo D. Troyjoy, a spokesperson for Bankruptcies of America, said that the Donald Trump Kool-Aid Company has assets of $2,902.32, and it owes thousands of patrons a combined total of $83,837,401.03.
He pointed out that DJT has said that the audit was simply one big, gigantic hoax initiated by Democrats, who still think that he is nothing more than an orange-colored, lying, crybaby douche bag.
Trump went on the Sean Hannity Show and told him that, in the interest of total transparency, the Donald Trump Kool-Aid Company has assets totaling $32.8 million and it only owes a grand total of $207.14.
Melania's soon-to-be-ex-husband said that he is desperately trying to find a lawyer (or at least a paralegal) so that he can initiate lawsuit proceedings against Bankruptcies of America, the Democrat Party, and Nancy Pelosi, who allegedly called him a dickless-little whining shitball.
