WASHINGTON, D.C. – (U.S. Satire News) – The Chicago Wind newspaper has confirmed that VP Harris will be flying to Kabul, Afghanistan on Air Force One to have a private meeting with the top ranking Taliban leader.
The vice-president is scheduled to meet with General Abdali Tibia Nim-Nim at an unnamed Motel 6, in downtown Kabul.
According to a White House source, Harris will be discussing the possibility of having the Taliban terrorists turn over all of the American military equipment (i.e. tanks, surface-to-air-missiles, bazookas, rocket launchers, and millions of bullets) that they stole from the Afghani army during their invasion, back to the United States government (no questions asked).
If General Abdali Tibia Nim-Nim agrees then the vice-president is prepared to offer the new Taliban regime up to $2.8 million (cash) along with 400 cases of Bud Light Beer, and 2,000 frozen Big Macs.