Bertie Wooster and Jeeves bombard Jaggedone's demented Cerebral Cortex from the Unknown!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Saturday, 7 August 2021

image for Bertie Wooster and Jeeves bombard Jaggedone's demented Cerebral Cortex from the Unknown!
It only needs a 'Kiss' to turn 'Bertie' into a 'Prince of Brightness!'

Lying in bed, propellers in your head, dreaming naughty dreams instead, then suddenly voices appear from the dead! "Jaggedone, we are back as we said, posh, aristocratic bred, Jeeves, you dastardly rascal tell us the latest scandals circling under the carpet, red!"

"Jeeves, I heard there was a mega bash in Tokyo, do you know anything about it?"

"Sire, I only know one of our 'hunky' athletes was seen knitting!"

"By golly Jeeves really, what has the world of UK macho, male, athletes come to?"

"Sire, maybe I could ask that Bruce Jenner decathlon Chappy, he's American, but I do believe he's she now!"

"Jeeves, really, however, I do remember Ukrainian female shot-putters with beards old Bean, but they were behind the Iron Curtain, dastardly rascals those Russians were!"

"Yes Sire, but now they own half of the world together with those Arabian Sheikhs, it's that oil thing, do you have shares too?"

"Jeeves, I remember old Lawrence having a bit of 'bum fluff' with an Arabian prince, but I never invested in black gold, I preferred the real stuff!"

"Sire, we are not allowed to call things 'Black' these days. I would not dare to have you denounced as a racist aristocrat like that Farage Chappy, what a nasty 'sheep in wolf's clothing he is!'

"Jeeves, does he have 'blue blood' too, or is he just a pretender?"

"Sire, I only know he loves licking our PM's bum fluff, and he is married to a German, what a hypocritical cad he is!"

"Jeeves, is he a bit like old Mosley, he was so much fun until he turned 'Nazty!' Oh, those were the grand old days of Rule Britannia, do you remember Winston telling Hitler he was such a naughty chap?"

"Yes Sire, who could forget. Maybe Winston 'chummed' up to the wrong one, that Stalin chap was a nasty piece of work too."

"By golly Jeeves, you are so historically brilliant! Did you know Tsar Alexander was my uncle, poor chap, and his poor family too."

"No Sire, however, I did join the Cossack Army once, I rode bareback all the time!"

"Jeeves you bounder, I never knew, why did you stop?"

"Sire, my bum fluff became sore!"

"Jeeves, you are just irreplaceable, now run along old Bean, get the 1923 Rolls Royce prepared, I want to dash off to Tokyo and watch that Jenner chap win gold before he turns into a woman."

"Sire, too late, our time here back on the planet is running out and old H.G's time machine has conked out once again, I could ask that young Whippersnapper', Erskine Quint, he travels through time too, and the ladies just love him!"

"OK Jeeves, book me a flight, is that Virgin Chappy on board too?"

"No Sire, Erskine Quint would never allow a 'New Rich' cad on board his Time Machine, he only accommodates real aristocrats like yourself."

"Jeeves old bean, get us both a ticket, I just cannot wait!"

"Yes Sire, maybe Queen Lizzy would like a ride too before she pops it."

"Oh Jeeves, you are awful, but the world just loves you!"

The 'Deadly' very posh duo disappeared in a flash but promised Jaggedone, in his dreams, they will be back for more royal fun and frolics soon!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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