England Wanker Team wins Gold at Wanker Olympics!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Sunday, 1 August 2021

image for England Wanker Team wins Gold at Wanker Olympics!
Who needs Tokyo, when you can watch a bunch of top Wankers here?!

England continue to achieve great success as a bunch of 'Wankers' after successfully leaving the EU as renowned 'Tossers!' They now have won a gold medal at the alternative Olympics held in 'Willy Wanker Land' better known as Vatican City!

Several teams entered this heavenly event. However, England won 'hands on' not 'hands down'. This medal was won by a team of Catholic Priests sponsored by mega-wanker, the Pope!

Here are the top five 'Wanking Nations' who participated in the games and where they finished:

Numero Uno and Gold Medal winner, England, trained by Nigel Farage, a massive Tosser, and Boris Johnson, his co-trainer, who wanks with impunity under Nigel's golden shower.

Numero dos and Silver Medal, USA, trained by massive wanker, Trump, who was 'tossed' to the side by another star wanker, Biden, in a corrupt 'Wank-Off' in Washington.

Numero tres and Bronze Medal, India, they could only reach third place because judges could not see them wanking, their willies were too small!

Numero cuatro, Northern Ireland, trained by the DUP, a superior bunch of wankers, but are much better in the ancient discipline of, 'Licking English Butts!'

Numero Cinco, Scotland, who were trained by Scottish national 'Caber Tossers' but were conquered by England's star wanking coaches, Farage, and Johnson! They invited the Scots to give them a kinky 'Blow Job' in exchange for a higher wanking ranking, but kilt-cladded, Ginger-Headed Heathens would never get on their knees in front of English Tossers!

The next 'Wanker Olympics' is in 2025, but the location is not yet known because sponsors are waiting for a sign from heaven to guide them to a land of milk and honey as far away from Israel as possible but filled with Catholic Priests.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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