AUSTIN – (Satire News) – Reports coming out of the heart of Texas state that Governor Greg Abbott, who has gone off-the-deep-end and needs to be removed from office before the ignorant, loose cannon shitass gets a wild hair up his ass and decides to invade Oklahoma.
The Houston Daily Driller has noted that on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being positively full of Chupacabra shit, “Wheely Greg” is a 14.
Even one of his own flesh and blood, cousin Homer Blickstick, 57, of Waxahachie, said that even as a little kid of 9, Greg would fantasize about boinking his teachers.
Howard Stern, the shock jock says that Abbott needs to be put away in a padded cell somewhere so he can play with his little, bitty, dicky poo from sunup to sundown.
