SUKAHATU, Afghanistan – (Satire News) – The Chicago Daily Wind reports that one of the most notorious Al-Qaeda leaders Omar Shaker Fasheen is now is custody.
A team of 6 Navy Seals captured Fasheen as he was having kinky sexual relations with his maid, who has been identified as Missy Fafalabad-Binbumi, 27.
They stressed that she is no relation to GOP Senator Ronnie Donald Binbumi of Alabama.
Seal leader Major Russell D. Rindamire, III, said that Fasheen put up no resistance, since he was totally naked and was holding a weird-as-shit sex toy in his hand, at the time that the Seals team burst into his kitchen.
Major Rindamire said that the Al-Qaeda leader begged them not to photograph him or video tape him as he was having illicit relations with a woman who is married and has 6 or 7 children ranging in age of 2 to 12.
The major remarked that he should have thought of that before he made her get up on the kitchen table and engage in some of the kinkiest sex that any of the Navy Seal team members have ever seen or heard about.