Australia Threatens To Shoot Anyone Who Violates Their Pandemic Lockdown

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 3 August 2021

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Australian kangaroos have always fought, but the pandemic has really made them extremely violent.

CANBERRA, Australia – (Satire News) – The Australian government has issued a very strict directive that anyone who violates their lockdown risks the possibility of getting shot, and not just in the leg either.

A spokesperson for the government said that this is not Florida, where millions of individuals are not taking this pandemic seriously.

He pointed out that the Australian government will be happy to pay 20% of their flight to Florida, where they will be free to do whatever the hell they want, including fornicating on the hundreds of Plywood State beaches.

One Aussie said that he is going to stay in Australia, and if he gets shot then he will hire noted American lawyer Gloria Allred and he will sue the country for $17 million.

He noted that if he wanted to be treated like an effin prisoner he’d move to Arizona.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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