YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK, Wyoming – (Satire News) – Park rangers at Yellowstone are puzzled, confused, and confounded as to why adult male bison are starting to mate with adult female squirrels.
The rangers say that they have been getting lots of complaints from tourists who say that their young children are getting very traumatized at the weird-as-shit looking spectacle.
One visitor from Bangor, Maine, pointed out that his little 7-year-old daughter started screaming at the sickening sight and she would not stop. Her mother finally, in an act of desperation, shoved a Hostess Twinkie into her mouth and she finally stopped.
A state senator who toured the park asked one of the park rangers if he knows of any female squirrel giving birth to a “Squiraloe.”
He replied that he hadn't and he stated that he believes that the male buffaloes employ the pull out method of coitus.
Meanwhile, the state of Wyoming has decided to shoot the bison with a type of tranquilizing gun that will render the bison impotent, which will cause them to lose any and all desire for sex.