THE GULF OF THAILAND – (Satire News) – The USS Jimmy Carter, is sad to report that they have sunk a Cambodian fishing boat that carelessly crossed in front of them.
Captain Keith P. Gunnmelo stated that his chief radarman mistook the fishing boat for a flock of pelicans and did not inform the bridge of the fishing boats location.
So as a result the fishing boat, which had a crew of six, including three women was hit and smashed into somewhere around 115 pieces.
The captain was glad to announce that all six fishing boat crew members were rescued and are relaxing after the traumatizing ordeal.
He noted that each of the Cambodian crew members was given a six pack of Bud Light to help calm their nerves.
When asked if the United States government would be buying the Cambodia fishing boat owner a new boat, Captain Gunnmelo replied that it is strictly up to VP Harris, who is in charge of boating mishaps.
The vice-president was asked if their would be any compensation, and she replied that the fishing boat had no effen business being in front of the powerful USS Jimmy Carter, so no money will be paid to the fishing boat captain.
In a Related Story. A Japanese two-man submarine that had been missing since December 17, 1941, was found by a group of Portuguese tourists who were taking photos of algae, plankton, and fauna.