COTTON BALLS, Georgia – (Satire News) – One of the largest and oldest volcanoes in the south has just erupted spewing molten lave as high as 2,873 feet.
Meteorologists had predicted to the day, when the 72,903-year-old volcano would erupt.
The last time that “Peachy,” as the locals and people from neighboring Alabama, call the volcano erupted was on Tuesday, September 19, 1949.
This eruption erupted with the force of 900 hydrogen bombs.
The blast was felt as far north as Muffin Bush, New Jersey, and as far west as Crawfish Belly, Louisiana.
One witness said that when the blast went off it knocked her Khloe Kardashian designer panties plum off her beaver (cunt).
Sally O’Malley-Chissy, 24, a pole dancer who works at the Ten-Foot Pole Lounge in Macon, said that the blast gave her multiple orgasms that she rated as being 10.7, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being described as fucking fantabulous!
SIDENOTE: Governor Brian Kemp is asking VP Harris to please talk to President Biden and have him allot Georgia at least $14 billion so that they can start with the process of wiping volcanic ash from the remaining peaches, (which he swears are still edible).
