CATALINA ISLAND, California – (Satire News) – Matt Gaetz, 39, who has sex-trafficking issues up the yazoo, as they say in Yazoo City, Mississippi, has married 26-year-old Ginger Luckey.
He promised the local news media that his new, blushing bride is older than 17-years-old.
The two were married before a group of 39 people, including 16 members of the news media, at The Church of The Questionable Questions, on Cat Island, as the locals refer to it.
Matt wore a fire engine purple “Leave Jeffrey Epstein Alone” T-shirt, lavender jungle cargo shorts, and red MAGA boxer shorts.
His new wife, Gin-Gin, who sounds exactly like Matt’s ex-piece-of-ass Marjorie Taylor Greene, wore a rainbow-colored blouse, Daisy Duke short shorts, orange Sicilian sandals, and shocking pink crotchless Taylor Swift designer string bikini panties.
Music for the event was provided by Hanna and Her Magical Glockenspiel.
The newlyweds plan to honeymoon in Ensenada, Mexico, where Ginger’s maternal grandmother, Consuelo, lives.
After their honeymoon Ginger said that the couple will begin trying to figure out ways that Matty can beat the sex-trafficking rap (charges).