PHOENIX, Arizona – (Satire News) – The Chicago Daily Wind newspaper has just reported that the mighty Colorado River has turned into a little trickling creek.
They place the blame solely on Global Warming, which former president Don the Con swore is a hoax that was perpetuated by Nancy Pelosi, Robert DeNiro, and Celine Dion, not to mention the NBA's Golden State Warriors.
The Colorado, which means “Red” in Spanish, Navaho, and Yiddish, meanders for 1,449.3 miles and provides water to over 41 million people, animals, and crops; such as beets, alfalfa, spaghetti, and okra.
“Sin City,” better known as Las Vegas, gets 93% of their water from the river and 7% from bottled water.
Nevada’s Lake Mead, which is usually 144 feet deep is now down to a paltry 3-feet-2-inches.
Meteorologists predict that by December 13, 2021, Lake Mead will become the Mead Desert.
Meanwhile, Arizona officials with the Arizona Department of Water, Wind, and Wine are looking into the possibility of buying water from either Chicago or Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.