MANCHESTER, England – (Sports Satire) – England’s Tickety Boo News has uncovered a scandal that involves one of the best sports teams in the world of soccer, or football as they call it in the United Kingdom.
TBN reporter Neville Twickenbuck, said that he was tipped off about the scandal by the sister of a Man U player, who had become disgruntled with her brother because he told their parents that she was having intimate relations with a Russian communist exchange student.
The sister who was only identified as Lola, to protect her brother, commented that her boyfriend is actually an Italian facist exchange student and not a Russian communist exchange student.
Meanwhile, the United Kingdom Sports Federation (UKSF) launched an investigation and found that the Manchester United Red Devils team had in fact inflated their soccer balls with illegal steroid air.
A spokesperson for the team Robin Hoodlinshire, 48, said that the air was actually tested by a government tester and it showed to be 99.998% legal, which falls within the acceptable guidelines for balls.
The Man U organization has been fined $80,000 and they have been notified that it happens again, they will risk having 3 of their players suspended.