PALM BEACH, Florida – (Satire News) – The former Divider-in-Chief recently told Laura Ingraham the Fox State TV, that he thinks that LPGA golfer Paige Spirinac is one of the sexiest females that he has ever seen; including Hope Hicks.
The Trumptard, who hates that name more than he hates his perpetual case of jock itch, told Laura the Lush, that if he was not married, and if he was not so damn infatuated with Hope, that he'd be all over Paige like mustard on a hot dog.
He noted that he can say that, since his wife of 16 years is not the least bit jealous.
When asked by BuzzFuzz reporter Taffeta Kixx why his wife isn’t jealous, he replied because they have both come to an understanding that he can have his female fantasies and she can have her male fantasies.
When asked who, other than Miss Hicks are his female fantasies, he replied Maria Bartiromo, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Kim Kardashian.
He then smiled and asked, “Hey Ingraham, have you seen the ass on that Kim Kardashian gal?”
No, she replied, adding that she is not the least bit lesbionic.
Trump was then asked who Melania’s male fantasies are. The “Tweet Creep,” replied, “LeBron James, Matthew McConaughey, and Beto O’Rourke.”