There were 434 spoof news stories published in August 2020. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
White BLM Protestor Screams "I Can't Breathe" While Looting Nike Store
A white Black Lives Matter protester was heard screaming “I can’t breathe” — the phrase George Floyd uttered before his death that has become a slogan for the Black Lives Matter movement - after stumbling while carrying several boxes of Nike Air Max…
Read full storyCaptain Tom Exposed by Vigilante Walter Mitty Hunters Club
Captain Sir Thomas Moore, popularly known as “Captain Tom”, has been exposed by self-styled vigilante group 'The Walter Mitty Hunters Club' for exaggerating his claims of service during World War 2. The group, made up of former and serving member…
Read full storyJoe Biden And Kamala Harris Spelled Backwards = Eoj Nedib And Alamak Sirrah
BILLINGSGATE POST: Now that Sniffin’ Joe Biden has chosen the hairdo of Kamala “Breath” Harris to be the repository for his wayward snout, some pundits predict that, when he snuggles up behind her and buries his nose in her hair, she will go complete…
Read full storyYouthful mother, 60, and her daughter, 30, look so alike even her HUSBAND gets them confused - but can YOU tell which is the older woman?
A woman says she looks so similar to her mother, that her step father is continually creeping into bed with her and mistakenly having sexual intercourse with her, in very embarrassing cases of mistaken identity - despite their 30-year age gap. Rea…
Read full storyThe Mars Land Rover Has Just Sent Back An Amazing Photo
HOUSTON – (Satire News) - Everyone at NASA is extremely shocked at a photo that the Mars Land Rover has just sent back. The photo clearly shows a wooden home with a dog in front of it. NASA scientists are totally baffled at the photo, which the…
Read full storyStormy Daniels' BFF Says That Every Word in Michael Cohen’s Tell-All Book About Stormy and Donald Trump is Right on the Money
LAS VEGAS – (Celebrity Satire) - There is perhaps no one who knows Stormy Daniels better than Windy Winnebago. Windy, who has some connections through the book’s publishing company, was able to obtain the Cohen book titled “Disloyal – The Truth a…
Read full storyA Shell Gasoline Station in Fargo, North Dakota Has The Cheapest Priced Gas In The Entire USA
FARGO, North Dakota – (Spoof News) - Gasoline Prices Magazine is reporting that a Shell Gasoline Station in Fargo is selling gasoline for 13 cents a gallon. When asked how in the world they can sell gas so cheap, when every other gas station in Am…
Read full story2 Girls 1 Cup Actress Dies At 22 story still doing very well
A story that has been hovering around a satirical news and parody website since 2007, is still proving popular with the punters, it's been reported. The story entitled "2 Girls 1 Cup Actress Dies At 22" was written by someone called Kirk Scott on…
Read full storyKanye West Says That He Has Received 793,702 Threats Since He Announced He's Running for President
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) Kanye West, the self-proclaimed greatest American performer, told a reporter for USA Today that, since announcing his candidacy for the highest office in the land, he has received close to 800,000 threats. He pointed out…
Read full storyTrump Says He Is Not Leaving The White House
Like Alexander Lukashenko, the dictator of Belarus, Donald Trump vows not to leave the White House if he loses the 2020 election. Trump’s thinking is, if he loses, that means the election was rigged. But if Trump wins, that means the election was not…
Read full storyWoman Wiped Bogey On Bus Seat
There was an outbreak of hilarity tinged, however, with a certain amount of disgust, when a man in a pub revealed to his mates how he'd observed a woman on a bus pick a big, long, green bogey from her nose, and then wipe her finger on the seat. My…
Read full storyCelebrity Worms In Their Eyes returns
It is the televisual event viewers have been begging for. Not seen since 2011, Celebrity Worms In Their Eyes returns for a new series on ITV3 this weekend, and it is a treat. Matthew Kelly had his restraining order lifted especially to film the pr…
Read full storyThe National Enquirer Announces They’ve Permanently Laid-Off Trump's "Fixer" CEO David Pecker
LANTANA, Florida – (Satire News) - The "Tabloid Tyrant" who, for many years, defended his BFF Donald J. Trump, has been shown the front door at the headquarters of the nation’s number one supermarket tabloid, the National Enquirer. CEO David Pecke…
Read full storyKid Rock is Positively Furious with President Trump
DETROIT – (Music Satire) - The white rapper known as Kid Rock recently expressed to Rush Limbaugh, that he is furious with President Trump. When “El Rusho” asked him why, the Kid remarked that he does not understand why Trump and his campaign, ins…
Read full storyBiden Picks Mike Pence as Running Mate
After months of speculation, the Democratic nominee for President has selected current Vice President Mike Pence as his running mate. “While our nation is bitterly divided, the one thing we can all agree on is that Mike Pence has done a bang-up j…
Read full storyPopular Porn Star Ariana Marie Has Decided To Run For Governor of Texas
DALLAS – (Satire News) - One of the pornographic world's most popular actresses has decided that she is throwing her 38-DD bra into the ring. Ariana Marie has starred in such epic porn movies as “Gang Bangin' Up In Bangor”, “The Bikini Line Tattoo…
Read full storyA Russian Female Boxer Has Just Won Her 53rd Consecutive Boxing Match
MOSCOW – (Sports Satire) - Female boxing sensation Svetlana Svetlanovich, 27, has improved her boxing record to 53-0, with 52 knockouts. The amazing Russian pugilist has been boxing ever since she was 8 weeks old. Her parents said that she knoc…
Read full storyDwayne “The Rock” Johnson Wants To Purchase The New England Patriots
BOSTON – (Sports Satire) - Dwayne Johnson recently met with the owner of the New England Patriots, Robert Kraft, and the two talked about wrestling, movie-making, and the 79-year-old Kraft’s penchant for much younger women; women who many refer to as…
Read full storyGhislaine Maxwell Says That a Prison Guard Tried to Poison Her with a Baloney Sandwich
BROOKLYN – (Satire News) - Fox News is reporting that sexual predator Ghislaine Maxwell informed them that a prison guard tried to poison her. Maxwell said that the guard brought her dinner which consisted of a baloney sandwich, some Cheetos, and…
Read full storyKentucky Derby will be run WITHOUT jockeys at Churchill Downs race track on September 5 as COVID-19 spikes in Louisville
The Kentucky Derby will run without jockeys at the historic Churchill Downs race track, due to rises in COVID-19 cases in the Louisville area. The race, which is usually run in May, but was postponed this year until September 5 due to the pandemic…
Read full storyDutch 69 year-old pensioner demands a quick 'soixante-neuf' before turning 70!
(UNEDITED) According to the laws of human biology, human male's sex-drive normally diminishes by the time they reach 65! However, due to viagra, etc, many male humans have prolonged the enjoyment, sadly their missus's do not share the same urge! O…
Read full storyJoe Biden Comes Out Of Basement, Sees Shadow And Goes Back Into Hibernation
BILLINGSGATE POST: On February 2, when the groundhog is said to come out of its hole at the end of hibernation, if the animal sees its shadow, it portends to six more weeks of winter weather. Anthropomorphically speaking - which is an art form w…
Read full storyLionel Messi Signs For Hull City
There was astonishment on a fairly grand scale in East Yorkshire this afternoon, as League One newboys Hull City announced that they had swooped to land the signature of Barcelona's wantaway Argentinian star, Lionel Messi. The Tigers were relegate…
Read full storyKnickers On Washing Line Contained Unsightly Stain
An innocuous glance over a neighbour's garden fence ended in utter repulsion this morning, after a man more-or-less minding his own business was confronted with the somewhat unsightly spectacle of a pair of ladies knickers that had been stained rathe…
Read full storyMensa Accept President Trump
President Donald Trump, so long a target for people who have called him everything from a fool to a moron - and most things in-between - is now set to make his detractors eat their words, after he announced in a Twitter tweet last night, that he has…
Read full storyNumber 10 To Install Suggestion Box
In a move that many Britons are hailing as “a major step forward”, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced, Monday, that, after 'unanimous agreement by the cabinet', that a suggestion box is to be installed outside the gates of Downing Street…
Read full storyJames Dolan Becomes a Hockey Fan After Discovering He Owns a Team
NEW YORK CITY - (sports satire) - New York Knicks owner James Dolan is known for his meddling in basketball and his attempts to play music. However, he has a new obsession: Ice Hockey. This new-found passion comes after discovering he owns an NHL fra…
Read full storyHope Hicks Denies That She Is Pregnant With President Trump’s Baby
CHICAGO – (Fake News) - Former White House communications director Hope Hicks was visiting the Windy City, where she had an appointment with her gynecologist. All week the news media has been speculating that Miss Hicks may be with child. And the…
Read full storySexy Blonde Pole Dancer Claims She Had Sex with 13 Different NBA Players
MANHATTAN – (Sports Satire) - A well-known blonde pole dancer has revealed to Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine, that she horizontally dilly-dallied with 13 professional basketball players, just within the past eight weeks. Jolene Butterwood, 24,…
Read full storyCoronavirus Second Wave Panic In Germany, As Hospital Staff Discover Beds Covered In Beach Towels
The threat of a second wave of the Coronavirus could be felt tangibly in Germany this morning, when staff in many of the country's biggest hospitals arrived on duty to find beds covered with beach towels. Just as tourists from the country tend to…
Read full storyTrump Signs Executive Order That Will Effectively Ban Tic-tac-toe In the U.S.
President Trump, on Thursday, invoked his emergency powers to impose broad sanctions against anyone caught playing popular paper and pencil game tic-tac-toe, a move that effectively bans the game in the United States. In the order, which takes e…
Read full storyMeghan Markle Warned Melania Trump About Wearing That Green Screen Dress to the RNC Convention
HOLLYWOOD – (Celebrity Satire) - The former Duchess of Sussex, and now swimsuit model, Meghan Markle told TMZ that she warned the first lady about wearing the green screen dress at the White House convention. And now, hundreds of pundits are cover…
Read full storyPresident Trump Says He Has Never Had Sexual Relations with That Woman Mrs. Jerry Falwell, Jr
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) - The New York Times is reporting that the first lady of Liberty University, Becki Falwell, has allegedly carried on an intimate relationship with one of her husband’s golfing buddies. The golfer, who was not named…
Read full storyMcDonalds is Considering Changing the Name of the Big Mac
CHICAGO – (Satire News) - The McDonalds board of directors recently had their big summer meeting and came up with a possible name change to their top-selling burger. The directors are considering changing the name of the Big Mac burger. The Bi…
Read full storyTens of Thousands of People Are Moving To Laos
VIENTIANE, Laos – (Satire News) - The government of Laos has just informed the world media that they are seeing a tremendous influx of people from all over the world due to the Coronavirus. The head of the Laotian Department of Influxers has state…
Read full storySo Long, Suckers! International Space Station Warps Out of Orbit For The Final Frontier
In a surprising display of secret technology and a big round of raspberries directed at the people of the Earth, the International Space Station warped out of orbit. How, you may ask, could a mere tin-can space station break orbit and travel into de…
Read full storyDr. Fauci: Paint Gums of Covid-19 Carriers Purple And Give Them A Laxative
BILLINGSGATE POST: While waiting for a vaccine for Covid-19 to reach the market place, President Trump asked Dr. Fauci how he might enforce social distancing, especially among the young and restless. Dr. Fauci thought for a moment. Then the answer…
Read full storyGisele Bundchen, Wife of Tom Brady, Films a Nude Commercial For Irish Spring Soap
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) - The news agency iRumors has announced that sexy model Gisele Bundchen, has just filmed a soap commercial for Irish Spring in which she was totally nude. Tom Brady’s wife stated that she has always loved bathing and show…
Read full storyJoe Biden Announces Donald Trump as Running Mate.
Today, former VP and de-facto Democrat nominee Joe Biden has announced that President Donald Trump will be his running mate for the 2020 Presidential Election. VP Joe Biden gave a press conference this morning, and was quoted as saying: "The peopl…
Read full storyOne of The Sexiest “Call Girls” in Las Vegas is Having to Sell Her House
LAS VEGAS - (Satire News) - The unemployment mess, which is a direct result of the Coronavirus pandemic, has affected everyone in all lines of work. FiFi McTrix, is considered to be one of the most sought after “Ladies of the Evening” in Las Vegas…
Read full storyDon’t Diss The Donald
BILLINGSGATE POST: For some, it was the best of times. But for one writer, it was the wurst of times. The fickle wiener of fate had passed her by like a runaway Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. Unable to reconcile a mother’s admonition that “If you don’t h…
Read full storyTrump comments on world affairs with FOX News on the golf course in Virginia
Last weekend, FOX News caught up with Mr. Trump and his entourage on the front nine of one of Mr. Trump's golf courses. FOX: Nice shot, sir! Bit of a blooper tho. Mr. President: Look, a three wood's not a driver, okay? I got at least 175 yards…
Read full storyThe Vaccine is Ready but it is Not Minority-Friendly
While thousands die from the Coronavirus by the hour, the pharma giant Big Pill is unable to release the Covid vaccine to the market. Their vaccine has successfully passed all phases of human testing. Apparently, one Director on their board is refusi…
Read full storyAmericans Keep Mistaking President Higgins for a Leprechaun
During a morning press conference, President Michael D. Higgins stated that American tourists visiting Ireland keep mistaking him for a leprechaun. Higgins went on to state that, when Americans take tours of Áras an Uachtaráin, they often go up t…
Read full storyLockdown to be enforced on alternate days
The on-off on-off lockdown put in place by the government due to the Coronavirus is set to be scheduled for yet another change, according to reports coming out of Downing Street this morning. All but 'essential workers' were told to "baton down th…
Read full storyDr. Dre To Release New Album With Rap And Hip-Hop Allstars
Not a man to sit on the fence and muse for very long, one of rap's biggest stars, Dr. Dre, has gone into the studio to record a new album that will feature some of his old associates, but also some new names on the scene. Dre, real name Andre Youn…
Read full storyLady Gaga and Kate Gosselin Were Spotted Sunbathing Down in Cozumel, Mexico
COZUMEL, Mexico – (Satire News) - Singer Lady Gaga and reality show princess Kate Gosselin were spotted sunbathing in the nude at the Eva Longoria Commemorative Beach, down in the Mexican resort town of Cozumel. TMZ recently reported that there we…
Read full storyA Leading Seismologist Predicts That a Gigantic Tsunami Will Probably Hit Malibu Beach in July of 2021
LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) - One of the state’s leading seismologists is predicting that a huge tsunami could hit Malibu Beach in May of 2021. Gavin Stravinsky has successfully predicted tsunamis in the Philippines, New Zealand, at the South Pole…
Read full storyJoe Pasquale Speaks Out On Brexit
There are people about who consider comedian and TV personality Joe Pasquale 'a bit silly', a bit of a buffoon, and certainly not worth listening to on any matters of serious import, but the comic has spoken out about Brexit, and has made a few peopl…
Read full storyAn Erotically Sexy Ex-Pole Dancer Has Been Named Sheriff of Tulsa, Oklahoma
TULSA – (Satire News) - The Tulsa City Council has just named Deputy Amanda Timberwine to be the new city sheriff. Deputy Timberwine, has been with the sheriff's department for three weeks. She is replacing Sheriff Clyde Costello, who suddenly lef…
Read full storyHoward Stern Says He Has A Huge Crush On Ivanka Trump - aka The White House Barbie
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) - For many years now, Howard Stern has made it abundantly clear that he has a huge, gigantic crush on Trump’s oldest daughter, Ivanka. He recently told TMZ that, if he had the chance, he would be all over the tall, l…
Read full storyPresident Trump Loves The Trumpapalooza Ass-Kickin’ Band
GRITS CREEK, Kentucky – (Spoof News) - The President recently heard a new country band as he was playing a round of golf at the Grits Creek International Golf Course. The name of the group is the Trumpapalooza Ass-Kickin’ Band, which they named in…
Read full storyGates, Birx, Fauci interview draws audience of millions and new Government Confidence Rating
Breaking: CBS has just released a new broad interview with top US health authorities on the current coronavirus pandemic. The interview promises "aggressive reporting," in the VCGS (Viewer Confidence in Government Services) series. Following ea…
Read full storyPresident Trump Wants To Add His Likeness To Mount Rushmore
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) - President Trump recently met with Kellyanne Conway and Eric Trump about possibly having his likeness added to Mount Rushmore. Kellyanne stated that she could not think of a more deserving individual. Eric replie…
Read full storyMini-Wacken-Metal-Festival in your backgarden means 'metal-head-banging-nutters' don't give a crap about Corona!
(UNEDITED) Corona postponements have given new life to a hordes of Heavy Metal Head Bangers desperate to bang their heads in anyway possible, including holding mini-versions of the German Wacken Metal Festival, largest on the planet, in neighbours'…
Read full storyPresident Trump is Planning to Legally Change the Name of the Red States
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) - President Trump is reportedly extremely upset that, no matter what he does, more and more of his base supporters are starting to question what the hell he is doing. Kellyanne Conway is so concerned that POTUS is…
Read full storyMLB Commissioner Rob Manfred Says That the Week-Old Baseball Season Could Be Striking Out Pretty Soon
NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) - MLB Commissioner Rob “The Man” Manfred says that he has been catching hell from a lot of people regarding the baseball season. He explained to sports reporters that none of the players are adhering to the no high-…
Read full storyA Popular Florida Beach Has Been Evacuated After Jellyfish Test Positive For The Coronavirus
MRS. PONCE DE LEON BEACH, Florida – (Funny News) - City officials in this popular ocean beach town say that tourists and local residents have all evacuated the beach. A spokesman for the city stated that health experts tested a total of 63 jellyfi…
Read full storyBritain more divided than ever before - poll
A poll of 2,000 adults throughout Great Britain has ascertained that, contrary to popular belief, there is more division in our society than at any time during the whole history of polls. It had been found that, in a similar poll conducted prior t…
Read full storyMom Tells Son That Eating Fruit And Vegetables Will Make Him Grow Up Big And Strong
Looking after your children properly and administering good advice is what being a parent is all about, and that's what one caring mom was thinking yesterday when she advised her four-year-old son that eating fruit and vegetables would make him big a…
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Recreates Her 2013 Wrecking Ball Video at the 2020 MTV Music Video Awards
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) - According to several celebrity publications, pop icon Miley Cyrus ran away with the MTV Music Video Awards Show that was held in the Big Apple. Bam Bam Boom News reported that the former twerking queen hit it out of…
Read full storyTrump Supporters Vow to Boycott Election in November!
Trump supporters are being encouraged to boycott the November Election. "Don't turn out the way the socialist ultra left commies are calling on everyone to do. They just want you to get in trouble for not wearing a mask!" said a recently diseased…
Read full storyBill Clinton Endorses Joe Biden: Sniffing Hair Safer Than Oral Sex
BILLINGSGATE POST: Last week during the virtual Democrat convention, Joe Biden received a backhanded endorsement from Bill Clinton, who was called upon to praise the moral virtues of the Democrat nominee for president. In a rare admission that he…
Read full storyUSPS Reveal Real Reason They Are Removing Mail Boxes
After a photo of mail collection boxes on a flatbed truck in Boston quickly garnered significant attention on Twitter, on Friday, the U.S. Postal Service clarified why the boxes were being removed. USPS spokesman Steve Doherty told reporters that…
Read full storyEric Trump Reveals That His Daddy Told Him He No Longer Wants To Be President
NEW YORK CITY – (Fake News) - Eric Trump could, unknowingly, very well be exactly what devoted, old-fashioned Republicans have been waiting for. The young Trump told CNN’s Jake Tapper, that his father recently told him that he no longer wants to…
Read full storyPresident Trump Has Cancelled His Scheduled Campaign Rally in Alabama
TATER TOT, Alabama – (Political Satire) - A representative with the Trump Campaign Rally Committee has informed the news media that the planned pep rally in Tater Tot has been cancelled. The pep rally was to have been held in the Governor George C…
Read full storyMick Jagger and Paul McCartney to Record an Anti-Trump Song
NEW YORK CITY – (Music Satire) - Two of the rock music world’s greatest icons recently met at a charity event for homeless deer. Paul McCartney and Mick Jagger talked about how President Trump keeps using songs for his campaign pep rallies withou…
Read full storyThe North is in trouble and that’s official.
Concerns over misinterpretation of the north of England lock-down measures have resulted in a Burnley man being refused entry into a Kent pub, because he’s a northerner. He was then sat on by a Polish fruit picker, until he was escorted back to the b…
Read full storyFaulty Product Warning From Rubber Johnny Company
A company that manufactures and sells huge quantities of contraceptives, has issued an online warning about several batches of its product which were illegally manufactured by a rival company, and may be somewhat unreliable. The advert, which can…
Read full storyChina Invents a Television Antenna You Can Wear on Your Head
HONG KONG – (Satire News) - The Republic of China is fast becoming the Japan of the electronics business world. Electronics experts in Hong Kong have just invented a television antenna that can be worn on one’s head. The antenna only weighs 13…
Read full storyKaty Perry Turns Down an Offer From Playboy Magazine to Do a Nude Layout
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) - Reports filtering out of LaLaLand, are that Katy Perry has turned down an offer of $1.7 million to do a layout for Playboy that was to be titled “Katy Perry – In Her Birthday Suit and Ready To Pop Out That Baby”. Katy t…
Read full storyChina’s President Xi Jinping Says He's Had it with President Donald Trump and The Gloves are Coming Off
HONG KONG – (Trivia News) - In a move that the civilized world is referring to as the epitome of a tit-for-tat game, China’s leader Xi Jinping has decided to rub tit-tatting in Trump’s face. The Chinese leader said that he has had it up to his ear…
Read full storyFarting now socially acceptable due to social distancing!
(UNEDITED) It matters not if 2 metres or 1.5 metres, a once socially unacceptable habit has now become acceptable in restaurants, pubs, cafes, etc; farting! Before corona, if people felt discomfort forming due to combustible build ups in the belly…
Read full storyIntrepid Investigative Reporting Reveals the Mystery Ingredients of Russki COVID-19 Vaccine
Dateline: Trotskyville, Russia -- The recent release of the Putin touted COVID-19 vaccine, named Spudnik 13, sparked our interest and prompted us at Sanitation Watch to send our star reporter, Biff Utrousubrosa, ‘undercover’ into the Madama Blavatsky…
Read full storyA Saudi Arabian Camel Breeder Says He’s Had His Gay Camel Up on eBay For Two Weeks
AL DUWADIMI, Saudi Arabia – (Funny News) - Abdul Abbas Aladdin, spoke to a local Saudi reporter, and said that, due to the Coronavirus, he has not been able to go to work. He is a camel breeder by trade, but he has been moonlighting as a sandbag…
Read full storyThe Republican National Convention Will Feature Kid Rock, Diamond and Silk, and the Trumpapalooza Ass Kickin’Band
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Political Satire) - The RNC has just released the names of some of the people and performers who will be at the Republican National Convention. Spokeswoman Birdie Custardtree, 58, said that the featured performer will be Kid Ro…
Read full storyWorld's Oldest Man's Death Sparks Police Inquiry
Police in South Africa have said their investigation into the death of the world's oldest man has already started, and that they will leave no stone unturned in their battle to find out just what happened. Fredie Blom, who was 116 when he died, wa…
Read full storyThe Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania Begins Its 13th Season
HOLLYWOOD – (Reality TV Satire) - A spokesperson for the PBS Network has just informed the entertainment media that their hit reality show, “The Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania”, will be returning for its 13th season. Payton Tugwater, with…
Read full storyCoronavirus Could Be With Us Forever, Says Former Basil Brush Companion Roy North
The Coronavirus, Covid-19, which surfaced in the Chinese city of Wuhan earlier this year, is proving to be a formidable foe, may prove to be unvanquishable, and might be with us, amongst the human population forever. Boom! Boom! So says the actor…
Read full storyTrump's Midcourse Correction
THE WIRED STREET URINAL El Presidente Donald Trump, exhausted from the pummeling he has taken abroad and the dismal polling numbers domestically, has outlined an ambitious plan titled “Crush the China Virus.” La Casa Blanca assumed adopting a poli…
Read full storyOrgasmatron In Shops Soon
A fictitious device which first saw light of day in a Hollywood movie, has become a reality, and will go into large-scale production soon. The Orgasmatron, which featured in Sleeper, the 1973 Woody Allen movie about a man who undergoes forced cryo…
Read full storyBlake Shelton and Gwen Stefani Urge Their Fans to Vote Against Donald J. Trump
TISHOMINGO, Oklahoma – (Satire News) - One of country music’s most popular couples recently recorded a political public service announcement. Blake and Gwen spoke with a Channel 96 Eye Spectator News reporter, and asked their millions and millions…
Read full storyMelania Trump Sings for Her Husband from the Rose Garden
We beg your pardon, we never promised you a rose garden. Along with the sunshine, there's got to be a lot of death sometimes. When a pandemic strikes you got to die and let go! “It is what it is,” ‘cause Donald never promised you a rose garden.
Read full storyAnd Godd Tweets Too
On Wednesday, President Trump addressed the nation from the Oval Office. The eleven-minute speech, haltingly read from a teleprompter as if he was totally unfamiliar with the content and, to a lesser degree, the English language, is being referred to…
Read full storyBrit beaches too small for sun-seeking Brits, so Ryanair are offering cheap flights to Dubai!
(UNEDITED) After being warned about keeping social-distancing, Brit sun-starved punters headed for over-crowded UK beaches during the heatwave ignoring all warnings. However, Ryanair chief exec, Michael O'Leary, superb entrepreneur, spotted a possib…
Read full storyOne Woman's Desperate Search For A Decent Electric Can Opener
A desperate search is underway by a Kent woman for a decent electric can opener. Anna Kirby-Helm Birthstone, of Deal, says she is frantic and 'stressed beyond belief' as she wades through the options available to her after her Cuisinart SC0-60 Del…
Read full story10 Road Trip Essentials
With travel restricted due to the coronavirus pandemic, many people are taking their summer vacations in the form of a road trip. Road trips are a great way to see all the great sights a country has to offer while allowing you to stop anywhere along…
Read full storyHeatwave causing new pandemic of 'Red-Hot-Rear-End-Rawness!
(UNEDITED) The human race has enough to contend with avoiding idiots who refuse to keep their distances believing they are immune to Covid 19. However, a new pandemic is sweeping Europe triggered by a heatwave! Sweaty underpants, itchy bums, sand…
Read full storyNorthern Man With Flat Cap And Whippet Says He Resents Social Stereotyping
A man has said he is furious that his appearance, mannerisms, clothing and pet dog have marked him out for social stereotyping by 'southerners'. The man, Maurice Enscombe, who can regularly been seen out in the cobbled streets of Dewsbury, West Yo…
Read full storyGhislaine Maxwell, the Alleged Sexual Predator, Wants To Be Released From Prison Because She Fears Getting Sexually Molested.
BROOKLYN – (Satire News) - A woman who many consider to be one of the most evil sexual predators in the history of sex, has stated that she needs to be released from prison as soon as possible. Ghislaine Maxwell told TMZ that if she is not release…
Read full storyPelosi, Biden, and Schumer Criticize Trump’s Mid East Deal
The recent agreement between Israel and the United Arab Emirates, in which the countries agreed to normalize relations, seems like a huge step forward for the Middle East, particularly if other countries in the region follow suit. Nonetheless, Nancy…
Read full storyJoe Pasquale Makes Wedding Speech About Immigration
Joe Pasquale, the Cockney Joe Pesci, who stunned listeners with his forthright views on Brexit recently, has done it again, this time on the extremely sensitive topic of immigration. In front of a large gathering of guests at a wedding party he ha…
Read full storyAnd Another Thing - I’m Angry
A man, who is usually in a permanent state of pre-heart attack incandescent rage, suddenly found he was conflicted as he felt calm and relaxed, which confused and annoyed him, but only slightly. “I’m usually bitter and twisted with a huge chip on…
Read full storyMaine governor mandates dog cone wearing for restaurant staff instead of mask
Governor Janet Mills of Maine has now directed all restaurant personnel to wear dog cones upside down as further protection against the virus. According to the Governor's scientific advisors, breath directed upward moves particles skyward pronto i…
Read full storyHarry Maguire Greek Incident Not The First Time He's Had A Temper Tantrum
The news that Manchester United and England defender Harry Maguire has been involved in an unsavoury incident in Greece might be shocking to some, but one man knows, only too well, that there have been occasions in the past where the Yorkshireman has…
Read full storyTrump Says God Told Him To Build Wall
US president Donald Trump has claimed that the idea to build the southern border wall to physically separate the US from Mexico was not entirely his own, having had, he says, advice directly from God. The wall, which stretches for nearly 2,000 mil…
Read full storyBlack Lives Matter Tells The Utah Jazz to Change Their Racist Name
CHICAGO – (Sports Trivia) - A spokesperson for BLM has informed the owner of the Utah Jazz, Gail Miller, that they want her to change the team name, which is as offensively racist to blacks, as the name redskins is to Apaches, Comanches, and Kickapoo…
Read full storyPolls Show That the Florida State Senator Known as ‘Bikini Barbie’ Will Easily Be Re-Elected
FORT WALTON BEACH, Florida – (Satire News) - Polls taken by two local newspapers show that Senator Stephanie St. Aspen, 27, will have no problem whatsoever in keeping her state senate seat (no pun intended). One Florida newspaper shows the senator…
Read full storyCDC Issues Immediate Halt to Colonoscopies Due to Backdoor Corona Danger
Citing data from Johns Hopkins University, the Center for Disease Control, (CDC) announced the immediate halt to colonoscopies. According to the CDC, there is emerging evidence the notorious Covid-19, aka coronavirus, aka kung flu, is capable of ent…
Read full storyUK To Reintroduce Pre-Decimal Currency
In the latest in a series of wacky inward-looking post-Brexit moves, the government has announced - much to the delight of Euro-haters - its intention to scrap the present system of currency used, and to revert back to the pounds, shillings and pence…
Read full storyThe Technobreak is real, it’s tangible, but should be available as an app soon
Residents of Swindon, seeing the benefits of not engaging with social media, ‘Technobreaking’, are currently the hottest trending subject - not that residents of Swindon are aware of it. Relationship counsellor Angel Elphinstone has been telling c…
Read full story