TULSA – (Satire News) - The Tulsa City Council has just named Deputy Amanda Timberwine to be the new city sheriff.
Deputy Timberwine, has been with the sheriff's department for three weeks. She is replacing Sheriff Clyde Costello, who suddenly left the country and reportedly is now living in Dundee, Scotland.
No word as to why Sheriff Costello left in such a hurry, but one of the local newspapers stated that it may have something to do with him having knocked up all three of the highly promiscuous Cappatelli triplets.
A local Tulsa newspaper reported that the new sheriff was, until recently, the featured pole dancer at the Happy House of Knockers, where she averaged $600 a night in tips.
Sheriff Timberwine says that she expects to do as good a job at sheriffing as she did at pole dancing.
The newly-named sheriff informed the city council that she would agree to take the job, but with the one condition that she be allowed to dance at the Happy House of Knockers on Saturday nights.
The city council approved her request by a vote of 9 to 1.
