Pelosi, Biden, and Schumer Criticize Trump’s Mid East Deal

Funny story written by Charles Havers

Tuesday, 18 August 2020

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The recent agreement between Israel and the United Arab Emirates, in which the countries agreed to normalize relations, seems like a huge step forward for the Middle East, particularly if other countries in the region follow suit. Nonetheless, Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, and even Joe Biden criticized the accord.

Pelosi, who was particularly critical, indicated that she will call for House hearings in the near future. She noted that President Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, whom she characterized as “a pissant, self-serving, corrupt, little bastard”, played a significant role in negotiating the treaty.

According to Pelosi:

“The Trumps always go where the money is, and any deal involving the UAE must be looked at for conflicts of interest.”

Schumer spoke more positively of the treaty, and indicated he is hopeful that it will lead to a more peaceful Middle East. Nonetheless, he indicated that Trump deserves little credit for the agreement, and that other factors allowed the process to move forward despite Trump. For example, the agreement was just the culmination of a process that started during the Carter administration.

“Trump is simply damned lucky. He got credit that should have gone to Obama for the economy, and now, he’s getting credit for possibly putting the Mid East on a path to end decades of conflict.”

Biden, for his part, noted that the UAE is quite a distance from Israel, and any treaty that does not have the support of Egypt and Hosni Mubarak is meaningless. Biden had no further comment after being reminded that Egypt and Israel have had diplomatic relations for over 40 years, that Mubarak died earlier this year, and that Mubarak had been overthrown and out of power since 2011.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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