FORT WALTON BEACH, Florida – (Satire News) - Polls taken by two local newspapers show that Senator Stephanie St. Aspen, 27, will have no problem whatsoever in keeping her state senate seat (no pun intended).
One Florida newspaper shows the senator, who is known as “Bikini Barbie”, ahead of the Republican challenger, Ludlow Malakoff, by 83 percentage points, and another Florida paper shows her ahead by 91 percentage points.
When Malakoff was asked to comment, the 94-year-old retired gynecologist, replied that it looked like he should have campaigned wearing a skimpy bikini swimsuit like the sweet, svelte, little vixen, Stephy, did.
St. Aspen has been praised for running a very clean, honest, to-the-point campaign, whereas Malakoff was heavily criticized for making false accusations, such as stating that Senator St. Aspen has cellulite on her [BLANK].
USA Today, interviewed eight of the senator’s former boyfriends, and each and every one said that St. Aspen definitely does not have any cellulite on her [BLANK].
The local Fort Walton Beach newspaper, commented that Ludlow Malakoff sucked as a gynecologist, and he sucks as a politician.