UK To Reintroduce Pre-Decimal Currency

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 16 August 2020

image for UK To Reintroduce Pre-Decimal Currency
Here's a penny for your thoughts; incidentally, you may keep the change

In the latest in a series of wacky inward-looking post-Brexit moves, the government has announced - much to the delight of Euro-haters - its intention to scrap the present system of currency used, and to revert back to the pounds, shillings and pence of old.

The UK 'took the plunge' in 1972, and consigned to history its long-misunderstood 'old money', introducing 'decimalisation'.

Panic spread quickly likes ripples on a pond after a Mini has been driven into it.

But calculating things using the ten times table wasn't as tricky as had been imagined, and the British are a hardy lot; they bit their lips and coped.

Now, however, under pressure from those who supported Brexit, ministers have agreed to return to the pre-1972 money, and the Royal Mint has been working overtime to produce warehousefuls of old-style pennies, ha'pennies, thrupences, tanners, florins, half-crowns, and crowns, to satisfy those who are hostile enough to want to banish the memory of any association with Europe.

The government is also in the process of producing a 140-page booklet that will seek to explain the complexities of 'old money', since most people who had ever used it are a bit hazy about how it worked, and those born since the end of the 1970s can't do arithmetic without a calculator.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more