WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Political Satire) - The RNC has just released the names of some of the people and performers who will be at the Republican National Convention.
Spokeswoman Birdie Custardtree, 58, said that the featured performer will be Kid Rock, who says that he loves Trump so much, that he is beginning to wonder if he may be a wee bit on the gayish side.
Kid Rock’s current girlfriend, Kiosha, who was Miss Osaka 2016, said that Kiddy is about as gay as Sarah Huckabee is skinny.
CNN is reporting that, as of now, Trump’s black ass-kissing Aunt Tomasinas, Diamond and Silk, will be the moderators.
Kid Rock will perform the National Anthem and Eric Trump's favorite song, “There Ain't A Bitch Anywhere Who Can Make Marijuana Meatloaf Like My Woman.”
The convention's first night will conclude with the Kentucky group, The Trumpapalooza Ass Kickin’ Band, who will be singing a medley of Abraham Lincoln’s favorite Civil War songs.