Residents of Swindon, seeing the benefits of not engaging with social media, ‘Technobreaking’, are currently the hottest trending subject - not that residents of Swindon are aware of it.
Relationship counsellor Angel Elphinstone has been telling couples who want to start a family, ‘You need to make quality time, and giving a running photo-commentary on social media of the romantic meal, the seductive music and the bedroom activity is not conducive for baby-making.’
In an undisclosed location in a 4-bed detached house, on a corner plot, behind a red door in Somerton Close, West Swindon, SN3 3FU, one anonymous woman said, ‘Me and my boyfriend wanted a baby for years, but couldn’t. Then I left my phone at work, and we lost the wifi signal at home, and now I’m pregnant, and my boyfriend wasn’t even here. It was so easy. That BT engineer worked wonders.’
Elphinstone said, using her mouth, and without any technology, ‘A number of my clients are suddenly seeing the benefits of Technobreaking, and the population of Swindon is about to rise dramatically in areas with poor internet connections.’
A Swindon BT engineer, who wears secret video recording glasses and doesn’t believe in Technobreaking, is a big hit on PhoneEngineersXXX.com
Not everyone copes with the Technobreaking trend, and some have friends take photos of them not on social media, which they quickly Tweet and post after the Technobreak.
‘These breaks are so stressful,’ said Brenda O’Lox, ‘can’t we get an app for this?’