Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Wants To Purchase The New England Patriots

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 8 August 2020

image for Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Wants To Purchase The New England Patriots
"The Rock" with his carry-on luggage which includes his vitamin pills and his weights.

BOSTON – (Sports Satire) - Dwayne Johnson recently met with the owner of the New England Patriots, Robert Kraft, and the two talked about wrestling, movie-making, and the 79-year-old Kraft’s penchant for much younger women; women who many refer to as strumpets.

Talk got around to Tom Brady, and Kraft became visibly shaken. He composed himself and told Johnson that he was devastated when Tommy left his Patriots team.

He pointed out that it was like when Brad Pitt divorced Jennifer Aniston 15 years ago.

Kraft then mentioned to Dwayne that he has been thinking about selling the team.

He said that, a year ago, Donald Trump had said he wanted to buy the Patriots.

Kraft shook his head and said, truth be told, Donald doesn’t have enough money to even buy the concession stands, the restrooms and the massive sprinkler system.

“The Rock” remarked that he has way much more money than Trump does. Kraft told him that he will certainly think about selling him the Pats.

Kraft said, at his age, it is time to settle down in his amazing mansion, and let the strumpets come to him.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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