Farting now socially acceptable due to social distancing!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Monday, 3 August 2020

image for Farting now socially acceptable due to social distancing!
no need to secretly rush to the bog and fart any more, you can all do it in public thank social distancing!!

(UNEDITED) It matters not if 2 metres or 1.5 metres, a once socially unacceptable habit has now become acceptable in restaurants, pubs, cafes, etc; farting!

Before corona, if people felt discomfort forming due to combustible build ups in the belly, they had to cross their legs and wait until leaving dining or drinking establishments because 'letting a loud one go' in crowded areas where people were enjoying there meals was distasteful and ponged! Silent ones sometimes crept out, but being quite difficult to locate, serial farters didn't really give a hoot.

However, due to social distancing, if people feel the need to 'let one go' it no longer is a problem because they are at a reasonable distance to their fellow diners or drinkers, so a quick release is quite comfortable and does not disturb proceedings.

One UK restaurant owner, Ly Ci Poo, told Jaggedone's CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) star sewer reporter, Bob Bog-Roll, during a visit to his Asian specialty establishment how things have changed since lockdown re farting:

"Well, we make many dishes with Chinese cabbage, leeks, chilies, peppers, etc, very combustible ingredients indeed. Before lockdown, our punters, male and female, left our restaurant with rather pumped up red cheeks, and once outside, they let it all out! Now, due to social distancing, they can fart as they please because our personnel wear masks anyway!"

Thanks to corona, Henry the Eighth, plus his royal entourage, have proved to the modern world; farting, burping, spitting, and other non-Christian habits, are now socially acceptable as long as social distancing remains law!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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