MOSCOW – (Sports Satire) - Female boxing sensation Svetlana Svetlanovich, 27, has improved her boxing record to 53-0, with 52 knockouts.
The amazing Russian pugilist has been boxing ever since she was 8 weeks old.
Her parents said that she knocked out her 14-year-old babysitter at the age of 2.
Sports Illustrated reports that the astounding thing about Miss Svetlanovich is that all 53 wins were against male boxers. And many of them outweighed the boxing bombshell by as much as 75 pounds.
Svetty’s boxing trainer said that it is getting harder and harder to find male boxers who are willing to fight her, since they know that, chances are, she will literally knock the hell out of them.
Svetlana’s manager asked Mike Tyson if he would like to fight her in a charity match. “Iron” Mike said he has seen her destroy some damn good male boxers, and he is not about to get into the ring and get his ass kicked by a girl.
Svetlana’s dad is very proud of his fighting daughter. Her mother wants her to quit boxing and become a manicurist.