While thousands die from the Coronavirus by the hour, the pharma giant Big Pill is unable to release the Covid vaccine to the market. Their vaccine has successfully passed all phases of human testing. Apparently, one Director on their board is refusing to sign off.
Dr Jenkins, the Director of Diversity & Inclusion, states that the vaccine, which is milky white, violates the very recent amendment made to Big Pill’s charter. As per the amendment, all medicines must be all-minorities friendly.
A milky white vaccine is evidently offensive to the black community and the lactose intolerant, not to mention the Anti-Vaxxers.
“I’m trying to avert blood from spilling in the streets,” claimed Dr Jenkins, who has earned his Doctorate in eastern mysticism.
Dr Cohen the Director for Marketing, who omitted to make anonymity a condition for speaking with us, claimed that he had recommended the vaccine be sold in rainbow-coloured vials to prevent the public from getting a peek inside. Armed with a Doctorate in Animal Husbandry, he declared, from behind a mask, “What people can see can hurt them.”
The spokesperson for Big Pill asserted that the board is conscious of its responsibility, and is racing against time to resolve the matter.
He expects the board to convene again as soon as possible, in September, after the holiday season.