Brit beaches too small for sun-seeking Brits, so Ryanair are offering cheap flights to Dubai!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Saturday, 8 August 2020

image for Brit beaches too small for sun-seeking Brits, so Ryanair are offering cheap flights to Dubai!
Plenty of room here for sun-starved, boozy Brits, desperate for a place in the sand thank Ryanair!!

(UNEDITED) After being warned about keeping social-distancing, Brit sun-starved punters headed for over-crowded UK beaches during the heatwave ignoring all warnings. However, Ryanair chief exec, Michael O'Leary, superb entrepreneur, spotted a possibility to get his planes off the ground at last!

He contacted UAE's transport minister and asked if he could use Dubai airport for a cheap, quick summer deal because flying to Spain is fucking useless due to the fact that Brits returning from their need to go in quarantine. In addition, Brit beaches are just too small to cope with sun-starved morons seeking a prime sunny spot at 03.00 AM in the morning.

Sheikh Abdullah, UAE's transport minister gave Michael the following answer;

"Sure, but only on one condition, boozing Brits can only drink booze in our very expensive hotel bars, if they can afford it, not outside, otherwise we'll lock them up for twenty years!"

Michael replied;

"No problem, they can fly to Dubai for £9,00 quid return, purchase over-expensive, duty free booze on our planes and make me a fortune. When they arrive they can rent your expensive camels, head for the desert, sober up in Nomad's tents, lay in the sand, get sun-burnt, not tanned, and when they fly back, drink our planes dry again!"

Sun-starved Brits were seen flocking to Stansted Airport hoping to get a cheap flight to Dubai, but only on one condition, they empty the plane's booze stock before disembarking in Dubai, and when they catch their return flight, do the same after sobering up in the desert!

O'Leary, a magical entrepreneur, knows what a win-win business deal is, especially when dealing with Arabs and, avoiding Brexit Brit quarantine legislation!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more