Mini-Wacken-Metal-Festival in your backgarden means 'metal-head-banging-nutters' don't give a crap about Corona!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Saturday, 1 August 2020

image for Mini-Wacken-Metal-Festival in your backgarden means 'metal-head-banging-nutters' don't give a crap about Corona!
"Fuck You Corona, we'll bang our heads wherever we choose, even if it's in the backgarden!"

(UNEDITED) Corona postponements have given new life to a hordes of Heavy Metal Head Bangers desperate to bang their heads in anyway possible, including holding mini-versions of the German Wacken Metal Festival, largest on the planet, in neighbours' back gardens!

Skull flags hoisted, crates of booze, metal-heads wearing their Wacken T-shirts, dirty unlaced boots, knee-length black tatty shorts, tattoos everywhere, long greasy hair, and that's just the females, were seen flocking to mini-festivals all over Germany!

In one tiny hamlet, the invasion was completed by 'headbangers' parking their caravans and mobile homes outside the front doors of ageing locals wondering what the fuck was happening! Three days of metal music; Cannibal Corps, Slipknot, Rammstein, Metallica, Slayer, Iron Maiden, you name them, were blasting out day and night, keeping the locals awake and police on alert just in case they started peeing in neighbours gardens!

German police generally turned a blind eye and let 'Headbangers' do their thing because they know how 'Metalheads' miss their Wacken weekend, an integral part of the German Heavy Metal calendar. However, in tiny hamlets all over Germany, locals were seen escaping the noise by either 'running to the hills' or the Dutch North Sea coast for a bit of peace an quiet. But sadly, Dutch authorities blocked many off because everywhere one goes in Holland there maybe no metalheads, but plenty of spaced-out techno freaks or, boozed up, ageing German tourists flocking to beaches to party to Frank Sinatra...

Corona has proven that the human race will not lay down and be defeated by a damn virus, however, many villagers will end up going deaf after the metal freaks return to their daily lives!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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