BILLINGSGATE POST: Last week during the virtual Democrat convention, Joe Biden received a backhanded endorsement from Bill Clinton, who was called upon to praise the moral virtues of the Democrat nominee for president.
In a rare admission that he may have crossed the line when he allowed Monica Lewinsky to perform oral sex on him while he was showing her his etchings in the Oval Office, Bubba stated that he wishes he had thought of sniffing her hair to satisfy his sexual needs.
“It’s sure safer than oral sex,” he sheepishly admitted in his recorded speech.
“If ah would’ve thought of that aht the time, it sure would’ve saved me a whole bunch of trouble.”
When asked if he believed Joe Biden was merely comforting these ladies while he was rubbing their shoulders and sniffing their hair:
“Ah yud be a lying, dog-faced pony soldier if ah said that.”
“That’s between Joe and his Creatah. Who am ah to judge the motives of another man in heat?”
Slim: “That settles it. With that endorsement, Biden will get the swing votes.”
Dirty: “Yo, Dude. I’m thinking about swinging, myself.”