HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) Kanye West, the self-proclaimed greatest American performer, told a reporter for USA Today that, since announcing his candidacy for the highest office in the land, he has received close to 800,000 threats.
He pointed out that 43,293 were from Harlem alone.
The hip hop, rapper, BS artist said that his journey to the White House will not be derailed because of a dozen-or-so malcontents.
When told that the malcontent figure was fast approaching the one million mark, he took a sip out of his bottle of Ripple, and replied that he thought it was all just a hoax perpetuated by the likes of Nancy Pelosi, Bobby DeNiro, and the Chicks (formerly the Dixie Chicks).
“West the Pest”, as his mother-in-law, Kris Jenner, calls him, arrogantly stated that, come November 4, every man, woman, toddler, and baby in America will be bowing down to President Kanye West.
President Trump was recently overheard saying to Kimberly Guilfoyle that the crazy-ass [BLANK] needs to get his [BLANK] ass into therapy fast!