The National Enquirer Announces They’ve Permanently Laid-Off Trump's "Fixer" CEO David Pecker

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 22 August 2020

image for The National Enquirer Announces They’ve Permanently Laid-Off Trump's "Fixer" CEO David Pecker
"Look, I don't know this Pecker guy, and I have never ever met anyone with that nasty name."

LANTANA, Florida – (Satire News) - The "Tabloid Tyrant" who, for many years, defended his BFF Donald J. Trump, has been shown the front door at the headquarters of the nation’s number one supermarket tabloid, the National Enquirer.

CEO David Pecker, aka Trump's "Fixer", was shocked when he received the text message telling him to pack up his stapler, his pencil sharpener, his Donald Trump bobble-head dolls, and his collection of sex toys, and vacate the premises.

A reporter with TMZ stated Pecker was told that, after a year-long investigation, it was learned that he had purchased a total of 2,783 sex stories that concerned the President.

Pecker and Trump reportedly had an agreement for Pecker to buy any story that was submitted to the tabloid that was in any way, shape, or form, damaging to the President.

TMZ noted that, in just the past seven years, Pecker paid out a total of $37.7 million dollars from a fund he called the “Buy & Bury” fund.

Pecker would purchase the negative story about Trump, and then just simply destroy it.

Meanwhile, Pecker stated that he has known Trump for many, many years.

Trump, however, says that he has never heard of Pecker, and asked if that was really his last name.

Pecker has reportedly hired Rudy “The Swamp Creature” Giuliani to defend him.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more