BROOKLYN – (Satire News) - Fox News is reporting that sexual predator Ghislaine Maxwell informed them that a prison guard tried to poison her.
Maxwell said that the guard brought her dinner which consisted of a baloney sandwich, some Cheetos, and half a papaya.
She said that the Cheetos were fine, and the half a papaya was okay, but when she brought the baloney sandwich up to her mouth, she said that it smelled like a combination of Lysol, FDS, and Gorilla Glue.
The warden was informed, and Ghislaine was told to throw the sandwich in the trash, and just eat the Cheetos and papaya.
In an update, Ghislaine reportedly now has a butch dyke ‘boyfriend’, Antonia Lavonda “Tony” Hamilton.