NEW YORK CITY - (sports satire) - New York Knicks owner James Dolan is known for his meddling in basketball and his attempts to play music. However, he has a new obsession: Ice Hockey. This new-found passion comes after discovering he owns an NHL franchise, the New York Rangers.
"I had no idea I owned a hockey team! I went to the Garden recently to finish up some paperwork. When I arrived, the air inside felt very cold, and I can hear loud clanking sounds coming from the arena floor. I assumed it was Elfrid Peyton going on another banger and hadn't invited me.
"However, when I walked out to the stands, and saw ice on the arena, I was blown away. I saw hockey players skating! I had no idea where they came from, so I gave Lustgarten a call. Turns out I own a hockey team, and have for some time," Dolan told the Spoof News.
"I've thought about getting into hockey in the past, but assumed it was just for Canadians. Owning your own team makes it much easier. Apparently, they are called the New York Rangers. Not the name I would have chosen, but I will keep it until I can think of something better."
Dolan went on to say that he is excited to start attending games next year. He's also a huge Sherlock fan, and was happy to learn that Benedict Cumberbatch is the head coach of the Rangers.