Britain more divided than ever before - poll

Funny story written by Mister Meaner

Wednesday, 5 August 2020

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Britain: a perfect division

A poll of 2,000 adults throughout Great Britain has ascertained that, contrary to popular belief, there is more division in our society than at any time during the whole history of polls.

It had been found that, in a similar poll conducted prior to the Coronavirus lockdown, 60% of respondents thought Britain was a society largely bound together in its attitudes and beliefs.

Experts expected expansion of this during the 'pulling together' of Lockdown.

It turns out, however, that the figure is now only 13%.

This means that only 260 people out of the 2,00₩ thought that Britain was 'together', whilst 1,740 were of the opposite opinion. This is not really much of a division, however, because it means that a large percentage of people - 87% - thought that Britain is not together in its attitudes and beliefs.

They are wrong, but at least they are together in their wrongness.

This was a dilemma.

In a question about the Lockdown, there was a surprising result. The group was asked:

"Should Britain be locked down until the virus is gone, or should we resume our normal routine, and take our chances?"

The result was 50/50. Half said we should continue the Lockdown, and half said we should end it. This was the biggest possible division of the 2,000 people there could possibly have been - one thousand people saying "Lockdown", and another one thousand saying "back to work".

This was not a dilemma.

It was perfect symmetry. Totally divided.

Civil unrest is expected soon.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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