There were 318 spoof news stories published in January 2021. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
My Pillow To Go Bankrupt Because of It’s Asshole CEO Michael Lindell
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – The Chicago Daily Wind has just announced that Michael Lindell, CEO of the My Pillow Corporation, and man who would marry Donald Trump in a nano-second, is standing in deep dodo, as they say down in Arkansas. Lindell, who…
Read full storySexual Predator Ghislaine Maxwell Says Prison Has Turned Her Into A Flaming Lipstick Lesbian
OSSINING, New York – (Satire News) – The biggest female sexual predator of our time, Ghislaine Maxwell, was recently interviewed by a reporter with The Channel 69 Eye Gazer News, in her cell at Sing Sing Federal Prison for Women. Maxwell told Cha…
Read full storyMelania Trump Resigns
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – iRumors is reporting that the first lady, Melania Trump, has resigned her position as the executive director of the Be Best Organization and can hardly wait to get her ass out of the White House, which she has desc…
Read full storyNancy Pelosi Discovered Masturbating In Capitol Building Horror
A male intern administrative assistant working in the Capitol Building in Washington DC has walked in on his boss, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, masturbating in her office, according to unverified rumors circulating online. Marvin Shawshank says hi…
Read full storyMelania Trump Tells Sean Hannity She’s Filing For Divorce
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The nation’s First Lady called in to the "Sean Hannity Show," and informed him that she has finally decided to file for divorce from Donald Johnny Trump. Mrs. Trump told the Fox News host that she has had it wit…
Read full storyDelaware’s Naked Bingo Night is a Huge Success
DELAWARE PUNCH, Delaware – (Entertainment Satire) – The state of Delaware has just revealed that its brand new Naked Bingo Night has proved to be a tremendous success. State Attorney General Kathy Jennings informed the news media that when the ide…
Read full storyAaron Rodgers and Danica Patrick Are Getting Back Together
GREEN BAY – (Sports Satire) – The word on the streets and the cheese shops of Green Bay is that Packers quarterback and his ex-NASCAR girlfriend Danica Patrick are getting back together. The two dated last year and even had a reality show called A…
Read full storyFirst non-binary computer introduced
It is the largest milestone in computing since the invention of the internet-enabled fridge. This week, computer manufacturer BigHard has developed the world's first non-binary computer. The computer is called Bernard, but prefers to use the prono…
Read full storyTrump Switches From Twitter to PornHub Comments Section
WASHINGTON- The followers of President Donald J. Trump are still recovering from a shock caused by the news of an unjustified and brutal Twitter ban. If only they knew that the President and what’s left of his staff have been working on creative and…
Read full storyQAnon's Marjorie Taylor Greene is Hated as Much as Ann Coulter, Donald Trump, and Mustafa Haliboo Combined
DICKWEED, Mississippi – (Satire News) – Marjorie Taylor Greene self-proclaimed darling of the QAnon movement and human tampon, has just become even more hated than Ann Coulter, Donald Trump, and Al Qaeda leader Mustafa Haliboo. The sewer water blo…
Read full storyCitizen Donald Trump Is Selling All of His McDonalds Restaurants
MAR-A-LAGO, Florida - (Satire News) – The ex-resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington, D.C., spoke with GOPicky Magazine. He was asked how he felt now, being a plain, simple, ordinary citizen. The former president made a face, and rep…
Read full storyArrest Warrant Issued For Donald J. Trump For Inciting A Riot
The DC police department issued an arrest warrant for Donald J. Trump for inciting a riot. Bellyaching since he lost the presidential election on November 3, 2020, Trump called for the Proud Boys and every other unemployed supporter to march to t…
Read full storyThe Kardashian Sisters Have Hit The Jackpot With Their Brand New Butt Crack Leggings
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – The Kardashian sisters have been pegged as the girls with the Midas touch. Even the world’s richest man, Elon Musk, has said that anything they touch turns to 14-carat gold. He added that he would love to invest $5 mill…
Read full storyPfizer denies Covid-19 vaccine has Viagra content!
After several reports of weird 'side effects' being noted by doctors observing lucky first vaccinated patients, they decided to contact the producers, pharmaceutical giants Pfizer, to ask why ageing males have suddenly been fondling young female nurs…
Read full storyPeople Are Going Crazy Over Mickey D's New Food Item
CHICAGO – (Business Satire) – The McDonalds Corporation has always prided itself in striving to be the first fast food franchise to introduce a new menu item during the early part of each new year. And this year is no different. Mickey D's marketi…
Read full storySperm Bank Triples Its Business with Its New Mobile In-Home Sperm Collection Program
BEVERLY HILLS – (Business Satire) – The Come As You Are Sperm Bank of Beverly Hills proudly announces that it’s business has increased by a little over 300%. Sperm bank director, Olivia Tiburon, told Pico de Gallo, with Tittle Tattle Tonight, that…
Read full storyThe Taliban, Al Qaeda, and Hezbollah Say They Had No Idea It Was So Damn Easy To Invade The USA
CAMEL SHIT, Afghanistan – (World News) – Al Qaeda Assistant Leader Mustafa Habiboo reportedly texted Taliban and Hezbollah leaders stating that, as he was watching Anderson Cooper on CNN, he had no freaking idea that it was so damn easy to invade the…
Read full storyA Man Is Pissed Off Because His Brand New 2021 Calendar is Missing the Month of September
BRUSSEL SPROUT, Belgium – (World Satire) - Belgium's national news agency, Sproutalooza, has reported that a badger herder, Leuven Mons, became very upset after returning home from the store with a brand new 2021 calendar. Leuven’s wife, Amalasand…
Read full storyIndians Vote to Outlaw Yak Races
BOMBAY, India – (Sports Satire) – The government of India, after years of debate, has voted to ban the age-old tradition of yak races. President Ram Nath Kovind issued a proclamation after members of PETA complained that the races were cruel to th…
Read full storyA Woman in New Jersey, Born With 2 Vaginas Offers to Sell One
HACKENSACK, New Jersey – (Satire News) – iRumors disclosed that a woman, who is employed as a Burger Bandit drive-thru window order-taker, has divulged that she was born with two vaginas. Cleo Yorkowitz, 27, told iRumor's Ling-Chow Rangoon that sh…
Read full storyQAnon Shaman Attacked By Buffalo
Capitol building rioter Jake Angeli, better known as the Q Shaman, or the twat in the hat, has been attacked by a buffalo as he made his escape from police yesterday. The 33-year-old, who suffers from small penis syndrome, was seen bare-chested, w…
Read full storyAlex Rodriguez Pays $4,000 For Jennifer Lopez To Get An Ass Tattoo
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – One of the sexiest celebrities in America has just revealed that her New Year’s resolution was to get a brand new tattoo on her ample ass. Jennifer Lopez told Bedroom Pillow Talk’s Carolina Chipotle that her fiancé,…
Read full storyAn Octogenarian Couple in France Has Sexual Intercourse While Skydiving
PARIS – (World Satire) – France’s national news agency, La Ohh La La, has just reported an amazing story. Jean, 84, and Gisele Baggier, 80, a couple who reside in Versailles, have performed a feat that has never been performed anywhere in the worl…
Read full storyPresident Trump Has Gained 47 Pounds Since He Lost The Election
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The President’s personal physician, Dr. Yang Fu Fi, says that he is very concerned about Trump having gained 47 pounds since getting soundly defeated in the presidential election. The doctor said that Trump has a…
Read full storyA 397-Year-Old Galapagos Turtle Has Escaped From The Bronx Zoo
BRONX, New York – (Satire News) – The director of the Bronx Zoo has just informed the news media that a 402-pound Galapagos turtle named Nostradamus II has just escaped from his holding cage. Nosty, who is 397-years-old, reportedly escaped once be…
Read full storyTeacher Taught Lesson Wearing Only His Underpants
A teacher who was unavoidably late for his lesson was ultimately forced to 'cut some corners' this morning whilst getting dressed, and ended up by having to teach his students whilst wearing only his underpants. The teacher cannot be named for 'le…
Read full storyThe List of 10 Unknown Facts About The Rolling Stones
NEW YORK CITY – (Music Satire) – The Rolling Stones are one of the most successful rock bands of all time. Mick Jagger and the guys have been together since 1962, an amazing 58 years! The boys from London, who are now the great-grandfathers from m…
Read full storyBoris Johnson Finally Admits He's A Muppet
London, England - After years of insinuation and speculation, UK Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, finally admitted that he was, indeed, a bloody Muppet. "Surprise, surprise!" said pretty much everybody. The news came only a day after Kermit The F…
Read full storyNancy Pelosi concedes Mr. Trump should be hanged, drawn, and quartered ASAP
Insider information indicates Ms. Pelosi has taken a further step toward curtailing Mr. Trump. Transcript of an interview with a major news outlet (not yet released) indicates Ms. Pelosi is not content to stop at impeachment. "That sounded goo…
Read full storyMan Marries His Gorgeously Sexy Blonde Blue-Eyed Robot Doll Girlfriend
FUKAHAMA, Japan – (Satire News) – Japan’s Saki News Agency is reporting that a 47-year-old sushi restaurant manager has married his extremely pretty robot doll girlfriend. Sagamiro Takashaki told Saki that he and his girlfriend, Melissa, a stunni…
Read full storyCoronavirus On Recovery: "Over My Dead Body!"
As the world slowly but surely tries to get its act together with the roll-out of various COVID-19 vaccine programs, and governments start planning for economic recovery and a return to normal life, the Coronavirus itself has reacted to these effort…
Read full storyLiverpool Boss Jürgen Klopp Has Lost The Dressing Room
Fans of the Premier League champions, Liverpool, were in disarray this morning after seeing their team slide further down the table following an Anfield defeat by lowly Burnley, but they may not be in as much disarray as their German coach, Jürgen Kl…
Read full storyWhere the Wild Things Were (or, Ted Cruz’s Attempted Coup)
(With apologies to Maurice Sendak) The year Ted went to Congress and made mischief of one kind and another, Ben Sasse called him "CHILD THING!" and Ted said "I’LL OVERTURN A DEMOCRATIC AND FAIR ELECTION!” So he stomped off to the Senate chamber to…
Read full storyJapan Has Developed The World’s Most Amazing Camera
TOKYO – (Business Satire) – The Japanese camera company, Tora Tora Tora, has just informed the news media of their brand new state-of-the-art camera. Toki Shimiyoki, CEO of Tora Tora Tora, said that the XX-Y13 Bonsai Baby will revolutionize the ca…
Read full storyThe Seafood Industry Is In a Panic as Lobsters Have Stopped Mating
BOSTON – (Business Satire) – The New England Seafood Industry is panicking due to the fact that, for some unknown reason, Atlantic coast lobsters have all stopped mating. Hans Figgarello, a noted lobster expert, stated that he believes the reason…
Read full storyEnron Shares Climb on Reddit Activity
NEW YORK - Enron (ENRN) is the hottest stock right now, with a massive “army” of internet-driven retail investors taking advantage of an incredibly rare scenario that’s driving up the stock price. ENRN closed at $65 on Friday, after reaching a high o…
Read full storyTrump's note to Biden at The Oval Office (now framed and under glass) leaked to the press
World leaders and social media are expressing outrage that Mr. Trump's farewell note to Mr. Biden has been exposed. Mr. Biden described the note as “a very generous letter.” Meanwhile, Mr. Bin Salman and Mr. Netanyahu have led a chorus of angr…
Read full story'Data Usage Warning' Received
There was consternation earlier today, when, quite without warning, and totally unexpectedly, a man who was using his phone to browse the internet received a notification that amounted to a: 'Data Usage Warning' Recovering from the initial shoc…
Read full storyFemale Comedian Uses The Word Pussy 217 Times in Her Stand-Up Routine
WEST HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – One of the most popular female stand-up comedians in the country has just made it into the Guinness Book of World Records. California-born Cinderella Zephyr recently performed a 20-minute comedy routine in the fame…
Read full storySushi-Shaped Space Ship Lands on Malibu Beach
MALIBU BEACH, California – (Satire News) – Several residents of Malibu Beach called up the Malibu Beach sheriff’s department and reported a UFO in the left coast sky. A reporter with Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres said she interviewed a couple, Toby and…
Read full storyFootball Pundits Argue And Almost Come To Blows On Show
There was real drama on TV this lunchtime, when two football pundits, Don Hutchison and Leroy Rosenior, started arguing and almost came to blows during a conversation they were having about whether Eric Cantona or Bruno Fernandes had been the more in…
Read full storyTom Brady of The Tampa Bay Buccaneers Shows He’s 43, Going on 23, as He's Headed For The Super Bowl
GREEN BAY – (Sports Satires) – In the battle of the two future Hall of Fame quarterbacks, Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers, the man with the same initials as the city he plays for came out on top. The Bucs beat the Pack 31 to 26. Dottie Bazooka with Sp…
Read full storyMexico To Open The Donald Trump Presidential Library and Diet Taco Stand
TIJUANA, Mexico – (Satire News) – Mexico’s El Ole News Agency has just disclosed that The Donald Trump Presidential Library and Taco Stand will open on March 20, 2021, which is Barron Trump’s birthday. Mexico’s Secretary of Wall Maintenance, Woody…
Read full storyMan Says He Might Try Sniffing Glue
The Coronavirus has changed many things about modern life, and it's also radically changed the way some of us think. A case in point is one man who has worried about COVID-19 and its frightening implications so much and so often, that he has arri…
Read full storyThe World’s Two Richest Men, Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos, Both Want PornHub So Bad They Can Taste It
DETROIT – (Satire News) – PornHub, the lasciviously pornographic video-sharing website, has just confirmed that the world’s two riches billionaires, Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos, want to purchase the extremely profitable site. PornHub owners Zetta an…
Read full storyLeBron James becomes all-time leader in missed foul calls
Los Angeles Lakers star LeBron James surpassed Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, on Monday night, to establish a new NBA record of 25,115 uncalled fouls against him in his storied 18-year career. James got 26 no-calls in a 115-108 victory over the Cleveland Caval…
Read full storyKim Kardashian Says The Vibrator Rumors Are False
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – Kim Kardashian is furious at the rumors that appeared in Hollywood Innuendo, stating that, lately, she has been using the services of a vibrator. Kardashian, who has been separated from her loser husband, Kanye West, fo…
Read full storyMan's Cultural Experiences Make His Blood Boil
A man who says he is suffering from stress, boredom, depression, frustration, isolation, gross mental strain and a mild psychopathic nature has admitted that, from time to time, he gets a bit angry. And, often, he becomes extremely irritable. M…
Read full storyLiverpool: The Wheels Are Well-And-Truly Off!
After last year's success, when Liverpool Football Club won their first top flight title in three decades, few people would have bet against Jurgen Klopp's men repeating the feat this time around, but after a humiliating 1-0 defeat against Burnley at…
Read full storyGuatemala’s Drug Cartel-Owned Soccer Team Remains Undefeated
GUATEMALA CITY - (Sports Satire) – Paloma Bocalinda, 26, with El Platano News Agency, has been covering the Central American Liga de Soccer games since the season started. She reported that the Guatemala City Banananistas soundly defeated the Pla…
Read full storyThe Long Lost Larry King Interview With Donald J. Trump
This long lost interview originally took place in 1993, just after Donald Trump had married the beautiful and sexy actress Marla Maples. King and Trump have known each other for a very long time, even before Big Macs had been invented. LARRY: So…
Read full storyLittle Girl's Headache Was Down To Tension
A young girl with a splitting headache whose sorrowful image has been flashed across the front pages of most of the newspapers across the world, has said that it was, in fact, a terrible migraine she'd had for two days after a stressful day at school…
Read full storyRudy Giuliani Admits That Trump Did Not Have The Coronavirus – It Was Just a Ploy to Get People To Feel Sorry For Him
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Boom Boom News, has confirmed Rudy Giuliani’s story that Trump actually faked having the COVID-19 virus. Old Bug-Eyed Rudy told BBN that he, Ted Cruz, and Sara “Sponge Cake” Huckabee Sanders concocted the whole d…
Read full storyNew Orleans Quarterback Drew Brees Announces His Political Intentions
NEW ORLEANS – (Sports Satire) – BuzzFuzz has disclosed that now that New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Bree’s will be hanging up his jockstrap for good, he has decided to go into his second love, politics. Brees who is one of the greatest quarte…
Read full storyExpert Says 2021 Could Be Worse Than 2020
Just four short days into the new year, and a man who reckons he is a bit of an expert on such matters has said that it's entirely possible, by no great stretch of the imagination, that 2021 could eventually, by far, outstrip 2020 in its shitness.
Read full storyThe Al-Qaeda Navy Has Just Named Marjorie Taylor Greene It’s Official Pin Up Girl For 2021
PORT CAMEL TOE, Afghanistan – (Satire News) – The Mirage News Agency of Afghanistan has declared that, by a vote of 901 to 3, Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene has just been voted the official 2021 pin-up girl for the Al-Qaeda Navy. Al-Qaeda Ad…
Read full storyBiden Names Major Amos B Hoople Secretary Of Defense
BILLINGSGATE POST: EGAD FAP! After having his first choice for Secretary of Defense, General Lloyd J Austin III, dumped for being part of the feared Industrial-Military Complex, President-Elect Joe Biden nominated his second choice, Major Amos B Ho…
Read full storyCongresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene of QAnon Is Actually a Russian Spy
WASHINTGON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The entire House of Representatives, Democrat and Republican, is up in arms over the evil terroristic antics of Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene. iNews reports that the 46-year-old extreme right wing supremis…
Read full storyMan Smells Hideous Stench Of Unwashed Feet
A teacher has revealed how, when he walked into a classroom to teach his students this morning, he quickly felt he was under attack from a rather peculiar source - a pair of rancid sweating feet. Moys Kenwood, 57, entered the room in jovial fashio…
Read full storyOprah Winfrey Interviews The Extremely Depressed Kanye West
(NOT EDITED) Oprah Winfrey, who is now the world’s richest woman started, with nothing but a pair of duct-taped flip-flops, a Raggedy Ann blouse, and a pair of Olive Oyl shorts. She's interviewed nearly everyone from sports heroes, Oscar-winning acto…
Read full storyMan Does Unspeakable Thing To Dog
There was controversy all over internet social media platforms last night, after a man who purports to be a dog-lover posted a picture of himself and his pet in a pose that suggested impropriety. John Ruff, 38, posted a photo of himself and his do…
Read full storyDemi Lovato and Miley Cyrus Seen Making Out at The La Brea Tar Pits
LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) – In a time when genderism is becoming harder and harder to pinpoint, many individuals are now identifying as transgender, cisgender, third gender, fluid gender, and even fender gender. Hollywood Vis-à-Vis reports that…
Read full storyAnalysts say senator's “erection” mistake a sign of dementia among Democrats
Curious as it may be, Mr. Trump's coming impeachment trial has aroused Democrats in unexpected ways. Speaking on the senate floor about Mr. Trump's upcoming trial, Senate Majority Leader, Charles Schumer recently stated: “Make no mistake, ther…
Read full storyThe Disney Channel To Start Airing Commercials For R-Rated Adult-Themed Websites
ANAHEIM, California – (Satire News) – The board of directors of The Disney Channel have informed the public that, due to their extreme financial loses, which they totally blame on President Trump, aka the Anarchist-in-Chief, they are having to make s…
Read full storyNancy Pelosi Denies She Defecated Into Bucket Then Poured Diarrhea Over Head Of Homeless Veteran - But CCTV Tells Different Story
A Homeless Gulf War Veteran's life was forever changed when a woman, who many believe was House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, though she is denying the allegations, dumped a teeming bucket of runny feces over his head outside a DC restaurant on Friday night…
Read full storyMystery Of 'Sleepy' Joe Biden Solved
The long-term mystery of why US President-elect Joe Biden has earned the nickname of 'Sleepy Joe' has been solved by a man who thinks about this kind of thing far too much, it's been reported. Biden, who takes over the leadership of the country to…
Read full storyHistory For Children: #1 Donald Trump
Once upon a time, there was a very bad man. In fact, he was more than a very bad man, he was a very, very, VERY, VERY VERY bad man, and one that had to be watched. His name was Donald Trump. Donald had lots and lots of money. He had SO much money,…
Read full storyNFL Announce Name Overhaul Plan For 2021
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell announced sweeping changes to the team name system, expected to come in to effect for the 2021 season. After a successful trial in Washington, Goodell is keen to see the change rolled out through the other 31 teams.
Read full storyKlexit: Jurgen Klopp On His Way Out Of Liverpool
They may have won the Premier League title for the first time in 30 years last season, and are currently sitting at the top of the table this time round, but Liverpool Football Club are in a poor run of form. The Reds have claimed just 2 points ou…
Read full storyBrexit bus should have said, "We send the EU £350m a week. Let's spend it on pointless bureaucracy instead"
Britain - but not Northern Ireland - left the EU at the end of 2020, and importing and exporting has not been the same since. Geoff Turnip is an importer/exporter from Bishop's Prepuce who exports beef, and imports strudel. "Bringing in the strude…
Read full storyMan Squashed Bottle Top For No Apparent Reason
A pedestrian who was walking along a public footpath has said he isn't really certain why he did it, but claims to have trodden on a bottle top he saw, squashing it almost flat. The incident occurred at around 7:45 am this morning, as schoolteache…
Read full storyHouston Astros Superstar George Springer is Headed To Canada
HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – In a move that's shocked baseball fans throughout the nation, Houston Astros fan-favorite George Springer will be leaving Texas and moving up to Toronto. The All-star, free-agent, outfielder and spokesman for Lone Star…
Read full storyPresident Putin Calls Up Melania Trump and Asks Her For a Gigantic Favor
MOSCOW – (World Satire) – The Kremlin Voice News Agency has informed the world new agencies, that President Putin is extremely concerned about the sad, deplorable, deteriorating mental condition of President Trump's mulch-filled brain. Putin repor…
Read full storyVaccine Found For Virus Not Yet Discovered
A scientist working in complete isolation has announced today, that he has developed a lifesaving vaccine for a highly-infectious deadly virus that is, as yet, unknown. Professor Brian von Smith, who isn't really a professor, and who inserted 'von…
Read full storyOne of The Stars of 4 Girls Fingerpainting Has Been Arrested
WEST HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – RumorLand News has just divulged that one of the featured actresses in the shock video 4 Girls Fingerpainting has been arrested at a Jack-in-the-Box in West Hollywood. Tammy Capizzio, 27, was taken into custody by…
Read full storyGiggle-End’s Island: Starring Sleepy Joe Biden And Kamala “Giggles” Harris
BILLINGSGATE POST: Now that Sleepy Joe Biden and Kamala “Giggles” Harris have landed on Giggle-End’s Island (Washington), it’s not too farfetched to note the comparison of Sleepy Joe as Gilligan (Bob Denver) and Kamala as Ginger Grant played by sexp…
Read full storyThe South Carolina Women’s Basketball Team Wants The Name Non-Cocks Dropped
COLUMBIA, South Carolina – (Sports Satire) – Sports Balls Illustrated has stated that 74% of the South Carolina University Game Cocks student body wants the name of the girl’s athletic teams changed. University President Robert Caslen was presente…
Read full storyAgonising back pain causes infamous Spoofer to chew on a tree trunk!
(NOT EDITED) Morphine tablets, Ibuprofen, and other pain-killers, could not relieve an infamous Spoofer from his back-pain-agony whilst lying in bed spoofing his heart out attempting to make people laugh! His wife, bless her heart, did everything…
Read full storyGinger Knobs are more hyper-active than their stiffer Mousey counterparts!
(NOT EDITED) Swedish scientists have proven one thing about Ginger Knobs, they are mostly red-headed Nutters who love dunking in hot and steamy Ginger biscuits. It seems a double dose of carotin given at birth, or inherited from mum or dad, adds m…
Read full storyMan Unaware Frank Lampard Had Been Sacked
In football news that some readers may find difficult to believe, an enthusiastic follower of the game has said that, despite keeping himself more-or-less up-to-date with what's going on, he was completely unaware that Chelsea coach Frank Lampard had…
Read full storyMan Could Smell Steak And Kidney Pie
A man has revealed how, when he was walking through the streets minding his own business, he suddenly became aware of the most wonderful smell of steak and kidney pudding pervading the atmosphere around him. Moys Kenwood, 57, claims he was quietly…
Read full storyMoney-Hungry Donald Trump Selling Pardons For $1 Million
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire New) – Financial experts are saying that President Trump left nothing unturned when it came to lying; and that goes triple for his finances. A source close to Trump’s personal accountant, Aydin F. Periwinkle, stated that…
Read full storyMan Relieved Headache By Extraordinary Means
A man who likes to reminisce has recounted a tale of an occasion when he was working at a global telecommunications company, when he relieved a massive headache he was experiencing in an extraordinary - and barely believable - way. Moys Kenwood, 5…
Read full storyA Man Teaches a Kangaroo to Shoot Three-Pointers
AUSTIN, Texas – (Sports Satire) – Lorenzo Mickowitz purchased his pet kangaroo, Bouncy, when he and his ex-wife, Pearl, took a trip to Sydney, Australia, 13 years ago. According to Sports Bet Gazette, since then, Mickowitz has taught his Aussie pe…
Read full storyPence Pardons The Debate Fly That Landed On His Head
Washington, D.C.- Vice President, Mike Pence, doesn't get the broad powers to pardon prison sentences for his sordid array of scumbag pals. Hell, he doesn't even get to pardon the damn turkey. But on his last day in office, Pence did take the time…
Read full storyPresident Putin Invites President Trump To Move To Russia
MOSCOW – (World Satire) – The Kremlin Voice is reporting that President Putin called up President Trump, and expressed how sad he was that he got his ass kicked by President-to-be-Joe Biden. Vladimir expressed that he has no idea how it feels to l…
Read full storyAndrew Lloyd Webber's 'Coronavirus: The Musical' Set To Wow Audiences
The darling of both London's West End and New York's Broadway, veteran composer and music impressario Andrew Lloyd Webber just can't let it go, and is at it again as he launches his latest theatrical extravaganza, 'Coronavirus: The Musical'. Baron…
Read full story“And Then They Stole The Election,” Trump Tells Giggling Children While Visiting Local Kindergarten
Balancing between playing golf and tweeting sounds like a difficult task. Still, Donald Trump keeps finding new ways of letting everyone know that Satan-worshiping communists stole the election. "I was skeptical when the President suggested visiti…
Read full storyThe University of Troy Trojans Are Forced To Change Their Team Nickname
TROY, Alabama – (Sports Satire) – The Troy University board of directors has voted 10 to 1 to change the name of their collegiate athletic teams. University spokesperson, Maxwell Maxinweiser, stated that the reason was due to a $21 million lawsuit…
Read full storyShakespeare Finally Gets A Mobile
Residents of the town of Scratch Ankle, West Virginia are celebrating today, as one of their own decided to finally get a mobile phone, after many years of vowing never to. Ninety-two-year-old great grandfather Archie Shakespeare was proudly show…
Read full storyThe Entire NFL, NBA, and MLB Players Demand That President Trump Resign Immediately
NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – Sports Balls Illustrated and the Sports Bet Gazette are both reporting that, due to treasonous President Trump inciting his beloved band of low-life insurgents to attack the Capitol Building, every single player, coa…
Read full storyVirus Hit Aston Villa Announce Shock Replacement Squad
As Covid-19 runs rampant throughout the UK, premiership football team Aston Villa have been hit full on, as their entire senior squad is completely out of action due to the virus. Even manager, Dean Smith, will be absent from the FA Cup clash with…
Read full storyManchester United Boss Issues Apology To Fans
After last Wednesday's humiliating home defeat at the hands of the Premier League's basement club, Sheffield United, Manchester United boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has made a heartfelt statement to the club's fans, officially apologising for his team's…
Read full storyThe World’s Number One Satire Site Has Just Given Its Writers a Strict Directive
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – Well, finally, Donald Johnny Trump, the worst president in the history of the United States, has high-tailed it out of Dodge, and is now languishing bitterly in disgrace in his Mar-a-Lago residence down in The Plywood…
Read full storyUK Government To Introduce New Coronavirus Restriction - Tier 5: Stay In Bed
The beleaguered UK government, already under severe pressure and in a tailspin over the increase in the number of positive cases of COVID-19, are set to introduce a further level of restriction, in an effort to get the virus under control. Having…
Read full storyNorthwest Derby Expected To Be A Classic!
As traditional football rivalries go, they don't get much bigger than this - Merseyside versus Greater Manchester - a sizzling northwest encounter in store for fans who have been waiting for this particular contest with eager anticipation since the f…
Read full storyMan Finds Money In Street
There were scenes of joy and jubilation in one city street earlier today, when a man out for a lunchtime saunter with his friend from work found some money in the street. Ambling along, chatting to his pal about nothing in particular, Moys Kenwood…
Read full storyGerman balding farm cat gets 'Elton John Look' but not in a 'Gay Way!'
Normally cats moult in the spring, however, one particular farm cat decided to do things differently. A quite unusual cat called, Anton, who resides on a farm in the Eifel region in Germany, has been spotted dumping his winter fur in winter! Deep…
Read full storyDavid Blaine’s Magic Trick Goes Horribly Wrong
LAS VEGAS – (Satire News) – World-famed magician and illusionist David Blaine was in Sin City performing one of his most intricate illusionist tricks ever, and was supposed to have made an entire circus tent, filled with a dozen elephants, 6 tigers,…
Read full storyMan Is Becoming Terrified Of The Future
A man who regularly worries himself into a absolute frenzy about things in a completely irrational way, has recently confessed to his family and friends that he is becoming terrified of the future. Concerns over things such as his age, health, wor…
Read full story