The List of 10 Unknown Facts About The Rolling Stones

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 9 January 2021

image for The List of 10 Unknown Facts About The Rolling Stones
The Rolling Stones performing at The Carburetor Coliseum in Detroit, back in April of 1980.

NEW YORK CITY – (Music Satire) – The Rolling Stones are one of the most successful rock bands of all time. Mick Jagger and the guys have been together since 1962, an amazing 58 years!

The boys from London, who are now the great-grandfathers from merry old England, are still rockin’ ‘n’ rollin’.

And the amazing thing is that the lads are all into their mid ‘70s.

TEN UNKNOWN FACTS ABOUT THE ROLLING STONES

1. The band’s original name was The Bouncing Rocks.

2. The group’s first manager also managed two other British bands, The Bloomin’ Blimeys and The Piccadilly Pickers.

3. The Rolling Stones are the favorite band of Sofia Vergara, Blake Shelton, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin.

4. The very first song that Mick Jagger and Keith Richards wrote together was “I Love Me Woman Just About As Much As I Love Me Crumpets.”

5. The band’s accordion player, Julius Hatbox, left the group in 1963, after he was caught at London’s Heathrow Airport with 17 pounds of marijuana stashed in his accordion.

6. The North Korean leader, Kim Jong-un, named his pet rooster Charlie Watts, after the Stones’ drummer.

7. The band's original bass player, Felipe Bonsai, was let go because he insisted on only using one of the four bass strings.
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8. In their 1973 world concert tour, the group set the Guinness World Record for performing in 76 different countries in 61 days.

9. Melania Trump has every album that the Rolling Stones have ever recorded.

10. If all of the women that the Rolling Stones have screwed since 1962, were laid end-to-end, the line would stretch from Brooklyn, New York all the way to Malibu Beach, California.

Keith Richards, lead guitarist for the Rolling Stones, told 'LaLaLand Daily,' the band hopes to kick-off a 19-city tour of the United Kingdom, in June of this year.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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