Nancy Pelosi concedes Mr. Trump should be hanged, drawn, and quartered ASAP
Insider information indicates Ms. Pelosi has taken a further step toward curtailing Mr. Trump. Transcript of an interview with a major news outlet (not yet released) indicates Ms. Pelosi is not content to stop at impeachment. "That sounded goo…
Read full storyQAnon Shaman Attacked By Buffalo
Capitol building rioter Jake Angeli, better known as the Q Shaman, or the twat in the hat, has been attacked by a buffalo as he made his escape from police yesterday. The 33-year-old, who suffers from small penis syndrome, was seen bare-chested, w…
Read full storyWhere the Wild Things Were (or, Ted Cruz’s Attempted Coup)
(With apologies to Maurice Sendak) The year Ted went to Congress and made mischief of one kind and another, Ben Sasse called him "CHILD THING!" and Ted said "I’LL OVERTURN A DEMOCRATIC AND FAIR ELECTION!” So he stomped off to the Senate chamber to…
Read full storyVirus Hit Aston Villa Announce Shock Replacement Squad
As Covid-19 runs rampant throughout the UK, premiership football team Aston Villa have been hit full on, as their entire senior squad is completely out of action due to the virus. Even manager, Dean Smith, will be absent from the FA Cup clash with…
Read full storyBlubbering Donald Trump says he won’t attend Joe Biden’s inauguration
In a tweet to his sycophantic followers, the grizzling groucher, President Trump, has said he won’t go to the inauguration of President Elect Biden. Biden, who kicked Trump’s ass in the recent US presidential election, takes over in the White Hou…
Read full storyPresident Trump Has Had His Bum Slapped
President Donald Trump, who, on Wednesday, incited his supporters to march on Capitol Hill to regain his 'stolen presidential election', showed his sensible side today, condemning their actions, and promising a smooth handover of power on 20 January.
Read full storyPresident Donald Trump Says "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet!"
He may have less than two weeks of his time in the White House left, but President Donald J. Trump earlier today struck terror into the hearts of every right-minded person in the US, and in the wider world. Trump appeared briefly on the White Hous…
Read full storySpeaker Of The House Nancy Pelosi
Speaker of the House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi, mother of 5 and grandmother of 9, was evacuated to a secure location after Donald Trump’s mob of terrorists invaded the Capital. Once cleared, she returned to carry on with the certification of th…
Read full storyThe Entire NFL, NBA, and MLB Players Demand That President Trump Resign Immediately
NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – Sports Balls Illustrated and the Sports Bet Gazette are both reporting that, due to treasonous President Trump inciting his beloved band of low-life insurgents to attack the Capitol Building, every single player, coa…
Read full storyThe Taliban, Al Qaeda, and Hezbollah Say They Had No Idea It Was So Damn Easy To Invade The USA
CAMEL SHIT, Afghanistan – (World News) – Al Qaeda Assistant Leader Mustafa Habiboo reportedly texted Taliban and Hezbollah leaders stating that, as he was watching Anderson Cooper on CNN, he had no freaking idea that it was so damn easy to invade the…
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