ANAHEIM, California – (Satire News) – The board of directors of The Disney Channel have informed the public that, due to their extreme financial loses, which they totally blame on President Trump, aka the Anarchist-in-Chief, they are having to make some undesired changes.
Disney spokeswoman Tabby Saltzburger, 61, stated that, with the overall business nature of the economy continuing to tank, the Mickey Mouse company has decided to start airing adult-themed commercials.
Ms. Saltzburger said that the ads will begin airing in early February, just in time for the horny-fueled Valentine’s Day holiday.
Some of the R-rated websites that have already signed advertising contracts include, eHorny.wow, eWhore.tit, eBoinking.dic, and eLibido.sex.
Saltzburger stated that she is certain that The Disney Channel will most probably lose several thousand evangelicals in Iowa, Kansas, and Salt Lake City, but they expect to add millions more customers from California, Nevada, Florida, and Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.
Meanwhile, in other news, a source from within the White Folks House, has revealed that Trump is so depressed, angry, and basically fucked-up-as-shit, that he can no longer control his bladder, and Nancy Pelosi has just nicknamed him “Old Wet Britches.”