NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – Sports Balls Illustrated and the Sports Bet Gazette are both reporting that, due to treasonous President Trump inciting his beloved band of low-life insurgents to attack the Capitol Building, every single player, coach, and cheerleader in the NFL, the NBA, and the MLB has voted that Trump the Chump needs to resign the presidency immediately.
Group spokesmen, Aaron Rodgers (NFL), LeBron James (NBA), and Jose Altuve (MLB), have all expressed that the quicker that the Anarchist-in-Chief resigns, the better it will be for every man, woman, and child in the USA (including the Republicans, the Independents, the Amish, and even the atheists).
Aaron Rodgers remarked that the Traitor-in-Chief is such a mean, heartless, evil, piece-of-sheep-shit, that he actually makes Adolf Hitler seem like Elton John.
LeBron James said that it is abundantly clear that any brain that Trump may have had, has now evaporated due to the tons and tons of fucking lies that the anarchist president has told.
And Jose Altuve said, ”Dees chithead Trumpet, he ease so full of bullchit, dat ju can smell dee son-of-a-beach froms tu miles away.”
The iNews Agency is reporting that FedEx has picked up all of the boxes with the vote results, and they will be delivering them to the White House within 24 hours.