Northwest Derby Expected To Be A Classic!

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 17 January 2021

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There may be more excitement at the birthday party

As traditional football rivalries go, they don't get much bigger than this - Merseyside versus Greater Manchester - a sizzling northwest encounter in store for fans who have been waiting for this particular contest with eager anticipation since the fixture list was first publshed back in July, and the stage is now set!

Kick off for the game, Tranmere Rovers versus Bolton Wanderers, is 3pm a week on Saturday, 30 January, at Prenton Park.

Both teams have problems ahead of the game. The hosts will be missing joint top scorer, Eddie Muppet, who has netted three times this season, all from the penalty spot. He has an appointment at the dentist.

And defender Timmy 'Babyface' Tompkins is also unavailable as it's his birthday, and his mum has organised a party for him and all of his friends. He'll be 23.

Bolton also have problems. The truth is, they're just not very good anymore.

The Trotters spent several years in the Premier League before poor financial handling left them squarely in the shit, and almost bundled them out of existence, until their future was secured by a mystery donor.

Well, it's a mystery to me, anyway.

Tranmere currently occupy 15th place in the League Two table, with Wanderers a single point behind them in 17th, and, with a lot at stake in this highly-charged derby, it's to be hoped that it will turn out to be a wonderful spectacle for fans, or at least that the match might be completed without one or other of the teams going bankrupt.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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