TIJUANA, Mexico – (Satire News) – Mexico’s El Ole News Agency has just disclosed that The Donald Trump Presidential Library and Taco Stand will open on March 20, 2021, which is Barron Trump’s birthday.
Mexico’s Secretary of Wall Maintenance, Woody Ortega-Ortega, stated that Trump’s library, unlike all other presidential libraries, which include hundreds of books, will only include three.
O-O, as his eight kids and live-in girlfriend call him, said the three books are 50 Shades of Hoaxes, How I Manage to Lie All the Time – And Why You Should Too, and The Illustrated Book of Donald Trump & Stormy Daniels.
The combination library and diet taco stand will also include some of Trump’s personal belongings, like an empty bottle of orange hair coloring, a photo of him and Maria Bartiromo at a McDonalds in Baltimore, a pair of autographed crotchless panties that belonged to the First Lady, Melania, and 7 photos of Donald and the soon-to-be fourth Mrs. Donald Trump, Hope Hicks, at a McDonalds in Brooklyn.
The food section of the combination library/taco stand will feature such food favorites as Energized Enchiladas, Bombastic Burritos, Mucho Hot Jalapeno Guacamole Dip, Refried Tamales, and Demi Lovato Spicy Hot Diet Tacos.
The ribbon-cutting ceremonies will feature the extremely bosomy actress Salma Hayek, the extremely sexy actress Eva Longoria, and the extremely brave Spanish matador Joaquin Beauregard Gazpacho.
The El Ole News Agency has not yet confirmed if former President Trump will be attending the grand opening ceremonies.
