TROY, Alabama – (Sports Satire) – The Troy University board of directors has voted 10 to 1 to change the name of their collegiate athletic teams.
University spokesperson, Maxwell Maxinweiser, stated that the reason was due to a $21 million lawsuit that the school had been hit with by the Trojan Condom Company.
Famed California attorney Gloria Allred filed the lawsuit against Troy University on behalf of the Trojan Condom Company, claiming the college was infringing on the company’s copyright of the name Trojan.
The Sports Bet Gazette is reporting that the school’s dean, vice-dean, and assistant vice-dean, have all agreed on a new team name which is the Troy Rubbers.
Troy senior place kicker, Johnny “Bubba” Mustard, was asked what he thought about the name change. He replied, “I think it sucks the big one – no pun intended.”
Another player, Monroe Apricot, who is the starting left tackle, and an evangelical from Iowa, said that the new name is so damn embarrassing, that he is planning on transferring to Oral Roberts University.
The dean did point out that the Troy College female teams will still be able to use their current team name, the Troy Trojanettes.